I don't want to make the same mistake three times in a row.

I have really bad timing. Its either that I’m too early or late or both. I never get the right timing. Now thinking back to it, I really wish that at that very moment, he asked me who I like, I wish I said him instead of some guy from Korea. That’s my first mistake. My second mistake is seriously bad timing. Me and this guy from my biology class, we talked and it was fun and interesting. He asked me many times to work on our bio homework together and offered to give me rides to places but every time I rejected him. He asked me to go to a party with him but I said I had plans with sister. It was actually really cool talking to him. But I gradually stopped talking to him and started making excuses when my friend told me that she likes him. It felt weird and not right. I also started avoiding him but he would still message me on msn. I would say “LOL” but he replies back to that! Like really… But I think he got my cue later on and he stopped talking to me as well. I felt bad after and wanted to say sorry and hope to fix it but it was kind of late. I guess the other reason he stopped talking to me was because he found someone else.

I honestly don’t want to make the same three mistakes in a row by not being honest with my feelings. Maybe that’s what got me to confess to him. But now I’m starting to think that maybe confessing to him was a mistake too. He only thinks of us as friends. I was honest this time. But I rather regret confessing and being honest with myself this time than making something up.

If I was honest back then, what would my life be like right now? I’ll never get to know the answer now. ….. And that’s a regret.