I had such a bad day today... D: This morning my sister had an argument with dad and of course when your siblings get in trouble you get in trouble too. No offence but I have like the most DISCOURAGING parents ever.. Like holy fuck... :@ They expect lots and they assume that we know every fricken thing in the fricken world. When I say I want to go into law or med they say that " oh you can't do it" and shit along those lines. Like FUCK I'm your daughter. If you say that to just anyone it would lower their self-esteem considering I'm you child? Where is the logic in this? I try to not let it affect me but in reality it does even just a little bit but it does. In a way it also gives me strength. I want to prove to them that I can do it. I can do it only if I want to do it. Not them.. Now don't get me wrong I love my parents but they certainly don't present themselves well as parents. For example my sister just asked my mom to drop her off at the library and I say "the library" not "the mall" and my mom fricken complains about that? Like really? She's going there to study... HER education. She's not shopping there and yet she fucking complains because she cannot turn out of the parking lot due to traffic. But really... My aunt drives us to the mall and the traffic was ten times worse and I don't see her complaining... like really?? We're going to the mall too and my sister was going to study and she bitches out on me.. like seriously?? I just don't get that.. They want but they're not willing to give... They want us to go to university and yet they're not making the slightest effort to drive us to the library to do homework and study without complaining.. That drives me crazy...
I did terrible on my a/c in precal... that made me sad.. really sad.. but what made me even more sad was when he apologized to me after school.. He didn't do anything wrong... He shouldn't be saying sorrry... He shouldn't be sorry about anything. I felt so bad.. everything is my fault.. It feels like I'm ruining his day... Maybe I'm not the entire reason but I know I am part of the reason.. I went to the airport last night and he said " I don't want you to leave" but what I want right now is what he doesn't want the most and that is I want to leave right now.. at this very moment.. I just want to go to a place far away and just do nothing.. Everyone and everything is just pissing me off... :@
