FAMJAM DAY :)

I was so fricken pissed this morning because my dad made me wake up to go swimming. I was like UGGH! I was so fricken pissed at everyone. I got to admit I was just pissed. Like just pissed at everyone.. HAHA Don't want to get me on that side. And when we got there my mother forget her WALLET... SO we had to go all the way back home, GET her wallet and then go all the way back. But then again it wasn't too far. I had fun though well fun-ish in a way :)

That awkward moment when you walk into your house and there's already a bunch of people there.
Yea. When we arrived home they were all there already. I love family gathering :) Its so special. HAHAH!! We BBQ. UGGH it's so unhealthy!! BUT OMG SO GOOD ... :/ I don't care. I'm just going to eat since I'm going to die anyway..... jks but yea.. HAHA Went to Starbucks with JEFF HAHA =)  It was fun lols. Interesting walk we had. Went out again with sister. My sister thought my dad wasn't home so we sat outside because we had no keys but apparently he was home LMAO. GOOD thing I decided to ring the door bell again :) We watched the uninvited. It was ohkay haha I thought it would be better though! The ending was creepy though. Started watching city hunter today. LEE MIN HO <3

Fries from yesterday

This is not what we wanted to order

It tasted weird too.

FAIL 

“This is the first time I want to cherish a person. For the first time, I want to make myself better for her because I believe that this world is not really that bad. I can accompany her and strive for the best.” – Guang Xi [Autumn's Concerto] * best drama ever


I just finished watching My Princess. It was such a cute drama although I must say the ending was awkward in a way. It was a good drama though and was worth watching. I'm gonna watch City Hunter next :) I heard that it's real good =) #excited.

My day started off bad because my parents were pissing me off. OMG like honestly.. -_-" I don't sleep and they yell at me. I sleep and they also yell at me. LIKE WHAT THE F***! Jheeez. Other than that my day was awesome and well spent with grandparents. <3 Help grandma do the laundry. We then had a nice decent conversation. First one since quite some time. After went over to other grandparents and we made dumplings together :) Sister, grandpa and I walked to Youngs. It was fun :)

I think I

I think I worry too much, care too much, think too much and stress too much.  Ohkay from this point and on I think not think about it. Yes. I shall do that. I worry too much about what's going to happen that sometimes I drop the conclusions. I think too much which causes stress for me. It's like I'm digging myself a hole again. Well maybe not because it feels different this time. Well hopefully it is. Like yea.. HAHA I don't even know what I'm trying to say I just feel like blogging. I blog for no reason. This entry is completely pointless. To whoever may be reading this I suggest you to stop right now before it bores you. (y)

If you are still reading this... err I don't know what it means because I don't even know what I'm saying right now. LOL! So yea. If you're still reading this stop right now. FORREALS. I think I'm scared to do things. Anything. Why can't I be more certain about my answers. Why can't I feel more certain in terms of everything. I guess this is something I lack.

F
SAME SONG. Only this one is louder HAHA IN LOVE WITH THIS SONGGG!! <333

劉威煌--不離不棄(情越雙白線主題曲)

When Lanes Merge [情越雙白線]

I'm also watching this show on tv. It airs at 7:00. I really like the theme song. It's so fricken catchy! :)

Just Finished Watching Mysteries of Love

So YEA I just finished watch mysteries of love on tv. It was such an intense episode LIKE OMMMGGG Last episode is airing on Monday and I'm definitely not going to miss that episode! It's a must watch LIKE OMMGG I gotta see what happenes! I'm pretty sure the main guy (Raymond Lam <3) known as Kings in the drama won't die but OMG the preview made me want to watch it online right now! But I got to play tetris now. LOL I was winning last night but then I started losing. Oh well I guess it gives me something to do today (y) or to do right now rather. 


So I applied for a job online. I don't think that was a good idea since I might volunteer last week of August. Dang.... I'm dumb. PSSSH not like they're going to hire me anyway!! OMGOMG I keep thinking of that last episode!! I can't wait two days ): GRRRR MUST WAIT. MUST. K BYES  

HAPPY BIRTHDAY MOM :)

I don't know any more. I really don't. #confused. 


I'm having a pretty good today so far. This morning I totally slept in HAHA I forgot to wake up for the jog with Jessica and Aaron. I woke up when Aaron called. LOL! That was fail. I think I started running too hard in the beginning. I felt a little uneasy when we got to the lake near Stanley Knowles. I told them to not wait for me and I will catch up to them later but they stayed. Wow good friends I have. I feel so fortunate. I crashed into a fence while riding Jessica's bike. #weird After that they stayed at my house for a bit. I went out with mom, bro and sister after. We took mom to Salisbury house. LOL That was a fail too. We thought we ordered what we wanted but it turned out to be something else. It tasted weird too... Went to Polo. I know it sounds weird but I brought a jacket today LOL in the middle of summer :D I miss shopping!! OMMGG!! D: So many failed and weird moments today.


Watching My Princess episode 14 at the moment. OMG I just love romance dramas especially ones with a touch of mystery added into it. It makes it so intense! I just love the cute scenes in the drama! Although sometimes watching these dramas makes me feel lonely D: I just can't imagine anyone liking me LOL! I mean I have to admit I'm such a loser and boring person to talk to. I sometimes wonder what people see in me LOL LIKE OMMG HAHA yea I just can't. I not saying I'm bad or anything LOL because that's just too hard on myself. But I don't know I just can't imagine anyone liking me. HAHA even if someone does, it's probably just temporary and that's what scares me the most. Not knowing if that person actually likes you or if it's just temporary. I don't know. 

going with the flow

I don't know but I'm just going to go with the flow. If it seems right than it's probably right! right? I will not think of anything else. Just going to live ever day accordingly. I feel so hyper right now!! OMMMGG LOL must be the k-pop! It's sooo fricken catchy!! <33333  I went down a rank in tetris. SO SAD ): oh well. Been playing for over 2 hours. I am addicted. :/ 


I got to wake up early tomorrow morning. I'm going to bike with Jessica and Aaron is going to jog. After that I'm going to have breakfast with my mom. OH YEA

HAPPY BIRTHDAY MOTHER!!! YOU'RE OLD !  LOVE YOOOUU

BYEESSS

2NE1 - HATE YOU

2NE1 - UGLY

I really like this song :)

Just jamming to some k-pop right now. I just finished watching My Princess episode 10 and 11. Pretty boring day actually. I didn't really do anything except slept until like 1:30. I then went to Starbucks with Sis. 


You know that feeling, knowing something when you shouldn't know. I mean I just can't forget it. I know. I'm just going to pretend that I don't. Maybe it's not even me. But now knowing that, I am determined to go and find out the answer. The truth. Whatever that may be. Actually I don't really know if I want to know the answer. What if it is? THIS is so confusing. I wish I know exactly what I want in life. It would make my life so much easier. I just never know.  I'm not even going to think about it any more. Bye. 


It's my mom's birthday tomorrow! HAPPY ADVANCE BIRTHDAY MOTHER :) Sister and I are going to treat her to breakfast tomorrow even if that means having to wake up early :P

My interview today didn't go too bad haha except for that one question she asked me. The question was "what qualities do you have to offer" and I was like OMGOMGOMG so I said "I'm not sure" -_-" yea.. other than that everything else went ohkay :) LOL so awkward when she gave me a glass of water. Well the water itself is not awkward but drinking it yea. So yea. That's my day basically. I thought my mom left the museum so I left too but apparently she went to the wash room. #fail. I went to watch my bro swim today. 


I went to the library with sister. LOL I'm still on my first book.... I'm not even half way.. Must read lots tomorrow. I'm watching my princess episode 10 right now!~ (y) I feel bad for the princess right now :/ I'm too into dramas sometimes. Ugh my stomach is not feeling too well throughout the entire day :/ Other than that and that question at the interview today was a good day (y) 

Maybe it's not even directing it to me. I'm over thinking.  

It was an interesting day today. UGGH!! kay whatever time I sleep at I still wake up at the same time. That's so messed up! I have my volunteer interview tomorrow and I seriously don't know how I'm going to wake up!! I'm setting my alarm but the thing is, I do wake up to the alarm only to find myself turning it off and then going back to sleep. I have no will power ): #reality

So I met up with Jessica and Mandy at polo park and then Trisha came. We saw Aaron and his friend at the apple store LOL. We walked around. Actually we sat more than we walked. #lazy. I want to go shopping so bad BUT OMG I am so fricken poor at the moment!!!!!! Trisha's dad drove us back to her place and we watched tv, played life, ate pizza and played Just Dance 2. I suck at dancing HAHa I seem to suck at everything. LOL..

Hope I wake up tomorrow!!! Lets get this over with.

*I wish I never knew. Dang. This sucks.

pictures and I

I hate it when I have pictures with people but I end up looking ugly in them but they post it on facebook or tumblr anyway! ... and then I tell them to remove it but they say no and it stays there forever because it seems like even if they change it somehow they always change back to that one photo. And I hate that photo -_-" RAWR! I give up trying to get them to remove it #hopeless. I don't like sending pictures to people any more that contains me in it. -_-" haunted forever. I always seem to look bad in group photos. FML!!!


I'm watching my princess episode 8 at the moment and on msn making plans for tomorrow. Mandy wanted to go to St.Vital Lols so far! Lets just keep it simple for now. I'm actually poor from taking the bus. HAHAH! Spent a good two hours watching Chinese tv I miss watching tv. It was awesome. The last episode of ghost writer was today!! Interesting ending... and a very different drama. It's different from others !! HAHA


I don't want to play tetris anymore.. My parents came into my room talking to me yesterday and I was trying to game and I kept losing. YEA.. I even went down a rank!! #sadface

I'm just sitting outside right now enjoying life 

I didn't really do anything today but my day started off pretty interesting. So last night well earlier on today rather sister dad and I went on an late night adventure. It was fun. We went to the airport. You know that awkward moment when you're just standing there and you see your family members coming and you don't know what to do but just pretend to look around and smile and wave. Yea. We're probably gonna have a family dinner soon. Yay food :) 

I'm really enjoying life right now. Talking to Jeff and Mandy kinda. The breeze feels nice. I didn't do much today. I woke up and went for a little walk. I came back home and read. And then I exercised and showered. Yea :) 

This is only temporary...... My unsure thoughts. :/ 

p.s Going to the airport later at 1 to pick up uncle and auntie from China. 


China is an amazing place to visit and Hong Kong is a great place to shop but I LOVE CANADA. No lies here. I really do. I cant live in China.. Just saying. The beds there are hard as rocks. They barely even have doors and like the showers man.. The weather is way to humid and if you live there you most likely should go get a motorcycle license because there are like no cars there... The food ain't too bad but I'm used to Canadian food. My way of transportation is a car or bus. I need a/c and my bed is not hard. I remember going there and staying at my uncle ( he's coming in like less than an hour) and my sister and I just stayed up all night talking. All of the above is not too bad for me but what I can't stand in China are the toilets. LIKE SERIOUSLY... The place where my uncle lives they don't even have a wash room in the house. They have to walk out and use a public wash room. Ohkay.. But the worst part is the toilets there aren't  flushable.. LIKE ew... NO OFFENCE! When I came back to Canada I really missed the wash rooms. YOU HAVE TO bring your own toilet paper there .. Kinda wish we stayed at a hotel haha.. BUT I would love to go back and visit my fam there. It was such a great experience. I miss them ! I wonder how my uncle and aunt will think of Canada.

I wonder.

I sometimes wonder where my fate will take me and how far. I sometimes wonder if we control our own fate or is everything already decided for us? I have so many wonders. I wonder where I will head after graduation. I wonder what will happen one hour from now. I wonder what will happen on Tuesday. I wonder how I will die. I wonder if I will get marry. I wonder if I will ever get a cell phone in my life. I wonder.


Today was a good day for me. I felt happy and blissful. I don't know why but I just do and I'm happy about it. I slept until like 1 am and then I went for a drive with dad. I think I'm getting better now. I think drivers were pissed off at me because I was going 50 when it's suppose to be 60... Well yea... haha... -_- And then I drove my dad to Sobeys. He wanted to buy bacon. What a fatty. I later sneak my sister out of the house so she can meet up with her bf. I went with friends. We stayed at Tyndall. We were watching people play basketball on the court. I feel so young but yet I'm old. Looking at those people play makes me not want to grow up. Like forreals. I like things the way they are now but everything changes and sometimes we need to accept it. No wonder what I will encounter in the future I will try my best to face it. Good or bad. There is no take two in life. 

I was supposed to wake up early this morning to go practice driving with my dad but I totally slept through him calling me. I heard it but I just didn't want to wake up.... I'm like in love with my bed! Dang I wonder how I'm going to wake up for school when it starts DD: But I did go driving today (y) and it didn't go too bad!! I remember I was driving across a bridge once and for some reason I was real scared so I started screaming and my dad started screaming at me for screaming. It was a lot of screaming. Bad memories LOL! For some reason I felt a lot more confident in driving today. (y)


I went to the library with sister today and then we went to Portage Place. It's like we go there every single week! Oh well!! There's nothing better else to do :P AND OMG my uncle from China is coming tomorrow and I'm going to go pick them up at the airport. I'm real excited for that <3 Actually I'm real excited for anything as long as it gets me out of the house :P and doesn't require me to wake up early.


Just finished watching My Princess episode 6!! Time to go play tetris again :)

This was from like 3 days ago. 

Was playing with my sis. WE ROCK :)

LOL so yea just got back like two hours ago from watching Harry Potter. I watched the first one and the last one. Like a boss. JKK! K now to watch the rest LOL! Time to get busy but if anything I'd rather not spend my summer on the computer. I still want to fly a kite and go ice skating. I still want to learn Kiss the Rain. I really do. HAHA! I still want to have a picnic and go to the zoo. I want to go fishing and just walk around at night. I want to have nice decent friendly phone calls. I want to just lay down and watch the clouds go by. I want to have a bonfire! I even want to DRAW! K maybe not that. I want to skype & or webcam and actually talk. I want to go shopping and actually buy things. I want to watch city hunter and heartstrings. I want to sing. I want to have a hangout where we just watch movies all day. I want to play tennis. I want to go practice driving but I'm way to lazy to get up in the morning and practice. I'm not even going to lie. I love my bed. <3 I also want to read. HAHA I went to the library and borrowed two books. I like romantic novels and mystery. HEHEHH! 

P.S I'm SO SORRY JEFF that I forgot to return your movie ticket!!!!! I'll take good care of it. For reals.  


And people that assume they just know everything just pisses me off so much. I'm not even gonna lie... SO FRICKEN ANNOYING!!! :@

I cannot see! It's so blurry right now. I'm not even going to lie frick! My glasses fricken fell apart ahah... It was always loose I just never thought that it would actually come off. My friend J.C was trying to fix it for me once in physics class. Stupid glasses -_-"

Going to watch Harry Potter with friends later LOL! I slept at like 4am last night. It was cool 8) I actually really like staying up hahah I just get pissed off when my parents makes me close the computer at like 11.. kay during school they make me go off at 11 and now its summer and they still make me go off at 11. LIKE WTF.... hahahha! I'd rather go on during school then. At least I can use English as an excuse (y) They are kill joys!!

KAY MAN! FRICK!!!!!!!! I can't SEEE!!!!! :'(

WHAT TO DO? OMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMG!

Kay like I don't mind you talking to me about him but honestly please don't ask me for relationship advice!! Like really don't... Like when people ask you "should I tell him" I DON'T KNOW!! I don't even know what's happening between you two!!!! AND now I'm just stressing over at what I should say!! SOMEONE HELP ME HELP HER! OMFG! At least she actually takes some of my advice/ ideas unlike some people. You help them but they just contradict at what you say.. And then it just gets annoying from there... no offence..

Ohkay so she just asked me again " should I do it?" OMG I DON'T KNOW! Instead of me deciding I just flipped a coin and let the coin decide. I'm so smart sometimes!! JAYKAAY! LOL ohkaay it's better than me deciding I mean that could like hours... Okhay at this point I don't even know what I'm saying to her. Oh dang... I'm just going with the flow.

no reason at all

LOL It's actually less windy now. Should I go for a walk? I actually didn't talk about what I did today ( not that anyone cares about my life hahahah) So my day was actually pretty simple yet I was happy. I'm not that complicated.. I just never know what I want but one day I will find out if not today. My sleeping pattern is starting to get messed up. I sleep at like 2 or 3 at the latest and I wake up at like 12 or 1. It feels like I'm over sleeping myself. I mean there are so many other things that I can be doing instead of sleeping. Although I like the fact that when you sleep all your worries are like gone. At least they are gone while you're sleeping. So I actually made an effort to exercise today (y) It felt great no joke. I feel accomplished. I also practiced piano a bit too. I really want to learn kiss the rain. I haven't even been watching my dramas lately. What is up with me? I also went to the library with sister today. I swear one day we're going to die like that always running across the streets. TOUCH WOOD TOUCH WOOD!~ So yup my day today. Tomorrow I'm going to wake up early and read outside. I don't even know what the plans are for tomorrow.. :S One day I will watch the sunrise. I will. I really will. I also realized something today hahaha. I was talking to him earlier and he kind of stop talking.. and I realized that it doesn't even bother me at all. I mean like back then I would be like "why did he stop talking" and panic and stuff like that. But now yea.. I feel neutral. I pretty sure I'm over him now maybe not 100% completely but I know now. I really do. I wonder when this cycle is going to start again. Guys that I like either a) moves away b) doesn't like me back or c) have a "thing" with me and then moves on to someone else. Its always like that. The outcome is always the same. My life is like a ferris wheel. It keeps going in circles and no matter how hard I try to run I will always end up in the same place.

Enjoy today. Face whatever is tomorrow. PCE.

If you never try you never know.

I actually don't like getting to know someone too well and letting someone know me too well. It's like once you get close to someone and know what type of person they really are you start to see a totally different side of that person. Sometimes that can be good and sometimes it can be bad. I don't really like letting people knowing too much about me. If you really know me I'm actually not as nice as everyone think I am. I am not smart whatsoever so stop assuming that just because my sister is in accelerated. I get that a lot. I am a spaz. I sometimes get mad over the very littlest things or happy depending on what the situation is. I sleep in a weird way too. If you pissed me off chances are I will annoy you back just for the sake of it. I forgive easily. It's real hard for me to let go of things. I can be real rude sometimes. I am socially awkward. I am boring and I am definitely not someone that someone wants to talk to daily. I hate it when people brings up something from my past. I trust people easily but I usually end up regretting it because they end up telling everyone. Or they said I only told blah blah blah but that person tells someone else and it ends up being not so secret anymore. I find reading boring to be honest. I never know what to say. I tend to run away from all of my problems. I will stop now. Running away won't solve anything. I think it's time for me to actually face everything that I've been running away from. If you never try you never know.

I wish people would stop leaving me. I don’t want you to leave. Last night I came across something and I don’t think it was meant for me to come across it but I did. I can’t get over it now. I know it doesn’t really have anything to do with me but I seriously don’t want you to leave. I don’t like him that way but I can’t deny the fact that I do have a slight affection towards him. But why do you have to leave? I don’t want to ask because if you want to tell me you will and I will wait. It makes me sad to even think about you not being here. You probably don’t know that but you really have a way of bringing happiness to people. I know you probably don’t think about it that way but you are someone to me and I honestly wish for us to stay connected for as long as possible but you might leave…. If anything I don’t want that at all. The things we said we’re going to do… Is it not going to happen anymore? Why does everyone keep leaving? I feel so empty right now. Please don’t leave. Please. You are not the first to leave me. In grade one I met a friend and her name is Elena and she moved schools. She was like my first friend. I met her because I was alone during recess kicking rocks like a loner and then she came over to play with me. She moved schools. In grade 2 I met another friend and her name is Carly. She invited me to her birthday party. It was the first party I went to and I was happy. I remember in grade 2 I had the chicken pox and couldn’t go to school for one week. When I came back people were afraid to sit beside me (whatever) but she still sat beside me. I was happy. But then she moved away. Also in grade 2 I had this tiny crush on this guy name Jalen but then he moved to Vancouver or something. Finally in grade 3 I met Mayanne. Up until this point we are still friends and I am so thankful for that. Including our grade 12 year we’ve been friends for 10 years. Also in grade 3 I liked this guy but he goes to some random school now west kildonan I think. In grade 5 I met another girl and her name is Anita but then she moved to B.C. Grade 7 now I liked this guy for two years but after graduation he went to Tec Voc. In grade 9 I was in an all-girls class so yea. In grade 10 first semester I met this guy in my drafting class but later on he also moved to Tec. In second semester I met another guy in my biology class but later on he also stop talking to me because he went for someone else. Grade 11 now second semester I met him and once again like grade 10 he left me for someone else. I’m honestly so tired of everyone just leaving. I don’t like the feeling of emptiness. And in one and a half month will be grade 12 and you might leave. You don’t know how much I don’t want you to leave. For once just once I wish people would stop leaving me. I can’t prevent things from happening or prevent things from ending. I’m always just a bystander. Always. ):

Listening to the sound of wind 

Tonight is just one of those nights where you can't sleep & thoughts just keeps flowing to you. I haven't really been on good terms lately ... You know what annoys the shit out of me? When people assume that you know something or expects you to do something. That just really annoys me... Or when people think they know all that but in reality its actually wrong. I find that funny but w/e. I don't care. As long as someone doesn't cross my line it's all good. I don't think I'm that hard to get along with. I know I'm boring but yea.... 

I was out earlier for a walk with friends. It was awkward in a way. I was waiting for Jeff & Aaron to come and I waited with Daniel & his girlfriend. That was awkward I felt like a third wheeler. Oh wait I was... & so I pretended to watch kids play on the play structure. Yea.. Times like that I wish I had a boyfriend. Someone that wants to take walks with me at night. My relationship life is messed up. It just never works out. Already knowing the outcome makes me not want to like anyone since I know how it's gonna end anyway. But I still fall for people even though I already know the outcome but it hurts more every time. Times like that you just can't hide your feelings even if you already know the outcome. #reality

Goals for the rest of summer:
- Exercise. Not get lazy even if it's just 10 minutes a day. Get up early & go jogging/swimming. I really want to see the sunrise!
- Practice piano again.
- Read at least two books
- Go to all the places I want to go to this summer


So today I realized how lazy I am. I envy my little bro! He always seems to have so much energy in him while I'm just a lazy bum. I feel ashamed so I must get back into a healthy life style instead of eating ice cream when I'm bored. When I'm bored from now on I shall jog or play piano. I actually don't want to sit in front of my computer everyday either. It feels like my eyes are getting worst. Am I too Asian? or behind in this society? It feels like I am. When my friends talk about pretty little liars or degrassi I have no idea what they are talking about. I mean I heard of the show but I never really watched it and to be honest I'm not really all that interested.. Should I start? Because when they talk about people and I ask "who's that" my friend would say "WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN?" and then I would feel like an idiot.... It feels like I should know but I don't. *sigh what to do.. I highly doubt I'm going to do anything. Like I think about doing things but I usually end up not doing it. That's just me and I should really change that. Life is too short to not take any risks. I'd rather regret doing something than missing the chance and not trying it at all.


Spent a good amount of time today on Tumblr. It seems like I'm on Tumblr everyday now! I even updated my theme and such..

Listening to this song at the moment

So my friend told me that he's learning it so I decided to youtube it up and I really like the lyrics. It's really catchy too! The lyrics are quite meaningful to me in a way. "I've waited all my life to cross this line. To the only thing that's true." ♥ 

p.s I will not turn back. I'm only going to look forward now. 

Our Bubble Tea <3 

WHY IS WINNIPEG SO HOT? When I grow up ( k should stop saying that. I think I am old already) Later on in my life I want to spend some time in B.C where I can actually do some of the things I want. Like wake up in the morning and bike near an ocean or go hiking. I want to go somewhere tall where I can see the sunset or sunrise. I think I have a better chance with seeing the sunset since I'm not a morning person.. 


Today was pretty good. My sister and I took the bus and then we transferred to a different bus and both rides we only waited for less than two minutes. One bus had a/c and the other one didn't. I felt bad for the bus driver driving with no a/c. It must suck! LOL So we sneak in bubble tea LOL well I did rather .... haha! When we went in we had the whole theatre to ourselves. It was awesome until people starting coming in.. HEHEH we went from theatre to theatre and a lot of them were empty. We just like sat there for a few minutes and then move on. It was great. 


I feel like a stalker... I still check up on his photos posted on facebook. I honestly pretty sure I don't feel that way towards him any more.. AM I becoming a stalker now? DDD: Don't think Don't think Don't think. I actually don't even think about him any more lol Although I may have taken the wrong road I'm sure I'm going to find the right one soon. Sometimes in order to get to the right road you got to take the wrong one first. But sometimes all guys seem the same to me. They're all hard to understand and they never seem to put you into consideration. They're all the same!.. Or maybe I'm just being bias right now. I want someone to prove that they are different. Someone that's willing to make an effort to talk to me and not talk to me just because they're bored. I want someone that's wiling to talk to me even when we run out of things to say. I'm not really asking for a lot..... Am I? I expect too much that sometimes it only brings disappointment to myself. 

I didn't do anything today. How relaxing. I like life.


So today I started watching Harry Potter. OMG I think I watched it before during school. I'm pretty sure I did because it looks so familiar. I was going to continue watching but that fricken site said " you already watched blah blah blah minutes please wait or make a free account" something along those lines. How annoying. So yup that's my day basically. How lame. I was on tumblr and I came across this blog and it was amazing. All the reblogs are like places all over the world. I realized how beautiful this world is and that I shouldn't give up so easily. Maybe one day I will be able to go to all those places. Life is too short to be unhappy. We should always be happy. Whatever the reason is that causes you to be unhappy just don't think about it. Eventually things will work out. If it doesn't work out than it is not the end. Our world is actually a really beautiful place to be including Winnipeg.


I wonder if he's back from his trip yet. He told me he was going for a week and it's been over a week. Not that I care or anything... It doesn't make much of a difference for me now if he's here or not. Even if he comes back the first person he wants to talk to is probably not me. It might have been back then but now at this point I know it's not. And you know what? I'm fine with it. I guess it just doesn't really matter to me any more. I sometimes wonder if I still like him. I never know. At this point I don't think I do. I don't even think of him the way I used to. I guess it's really forgive and forget......

I was lazy to blog last night and I still am but I am making an effort. Yesterday was so long ago I don't even remember what I did. Anyway so yesterday I went to Tim Hortons with sister and then we went to the library to print out some forms which was quite complicated.. DANG! The process of printing at a public library.. I don't even want to talk about it. BUT OMG we found out that there are more than one floor to that library. LIKE OMGG!! IT'S SO DOPE!! I like the design. Going to the library makes me miss school. When school starts again I will definitely go there and study (y) After that we chilled at city place for awhile just to enjoy their free wifi. After that I went to Concert Hall and waited for Jeff and Mandy. We went to see Battle of the Bands and Aaron was there! SO yea that was a fun experience. Because if I didn't know someone there I would probably never go to something like that so yea I enjoyed it.


Today was a fun day too. Went to Mandy's house.  I always feel so lazy to do anythinggg... Just wanna lay in my bed alll daayyy And oh yea so much for going swimming this morning. It was a fail. HAHA Woke up at like 11 ish. Made food and then went outside. My dad brought a new swing thingy so I was outside on that thing for some time. Almost feel asleep but yea.. (afraid of the mosquitoes)

I'm so happy today I don't even know why. I miss the feeling of happiness. The feeling that you get when everything just seems so fine and the outside is so beautiful. Life is great. The feeling you get when you feel so free. Being able to wake up look outside the window and smile. That feeling is GREAT! (y) Next time when I'm feeling down I wanna remember this feeling of happiness. What makes me happy? ( ICE CREAM) I don't know what makes me happy. It's just a feeling that I get usually with people I care about or when I do something that I'm satisfied with. OR when something unexpected happens. I'm like those typical girls lol. I like surprises, teddy bears, roses, cards and chocolate. I really want cash at the moment.. I WANT THAT JACKET

MY ICE CREAM LOVE

They make my day <3 

hello today

LOL didn't do much like yesterday but I don't know why I'm happy today :D So I woke up at like 12 today (y) I would have continued sleeping but my mom gets pissed at me LOL. I attempted to curl my hair today HAHA! It didn't go too bad but I was scared I was gonna burn my face because that's what happened to my sister :S I put on gloves (y) After that spent some time watching tv with bro. I miss Spongebob Squarepants!!!! And then I watched My Princess episode 3 & 4. I'm not going hardcore now on dramas. LOL yea... I wish  I was a princess LOL ! I wanna marry a Prince JAYKAAY! HAHA 


Listening to 0330 at the moment. I really love the song. <3333 


HMMM I should go driving later.

LOL THIS IS KINDA OLD 
"Isn't he just amazing? wearing 3D glasses yo! enjoying semester break xD" 
And my sister said " *SHE. gosh. :( "
SO I SAID "IT" 

Secret Garden

hyun bin is wayyy toooo cute here :) this video is making my day

everyday is a boring day. HOW SAD ):

I cannot spend the rest of my summer like this. IT'S TOOO TRAGIC ): WAY TOOOO TRAGIC. Its like I have no motivation whatsoever. There's nothing to look forward to everyday because knowing that tomorrow will the same as today. At the same time I enjoy this feeling knowing that there's no work for me to get done. I actually miss school. I miss seeing my classmates that makes me laugh, rushing to finish homework over the lunch hour and waiting for the bell to ring at 3:30. I'm actually not that motivated over school. Like I go to my classes only to question why I'm there and when will I ever use all this knowledge in my life. The only thing I actually find useful is English BECAUSE I'M IN CANADA!!.. Honestly the things we learn in pre-calculus.. It's fun but will I ever use it? Yet another beautiful day wasted. How sad. I'm wasting time that I will never get back in my life. It's not like I don't want to do something its that there's nothing to do. Perhaps I should start playing piano again. I haven't touch my keyboard for over three weeks. I still want to learn Kiss the Rain. 


Ohkay, after today I will do something. ANYTHING! Will not waste life away. Or sit in front of the computer all day. Will find reasons to look forward to.   

DEAR FRIEND

I care about you but I honestly don't give good relationship advice. IF I had good advice I would have used it LOOOL! I never know how to respond to you. I'm so sorry. Kay like I don't even know the guy and plus you're in B.C. WELL both of you guys. I can't give opinion on that. I don't know like if you ask me a chemistry question I might actually be able to help BUT relationships. I was never on good terms so like eh yea. I'm not much help but when you really ask for my opinion .... D: I rather regret telling than not telling at all because if you don't tell than the answer will be forever unknown. That is the only advice I can give. I kinda used it myself. I still don't think what happened between us was a mistake. I just don't get how everyone found out besides the people that I told. Like even my grade 9 friends know and I didn't tell them anything. "we"still come up from time to time. It's always going to be there now. *sigh. I don't know. I don't really feel anything towards him any more except random mixed feelings. ERR does that count as something then? SCREW IT! Going on youtube. BYE  
* I want a TEDDY BEAR ):

I actually sometimes wonder if I actually like you. *sigh I never know when I really like someone. I just can't see myself committed. I rather not start. But I have to admit I do kinda miss you. KAY YEA I suck. GOODBYE 

OHKAY Pretty good day today. Simple just the way I like it. Woke up this morning and killed that FLY ! HHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH WHAT NOW ! I TOLD YA ! :D ANYWAY When I was killing it I was another bug FRICK! EWWW ITS GROSS!! I HATE BUGS!! Went to the library with Andrew, Jessica, Mayanne. Sister walked me there but left. We sat there and played well read rather I spy for like over an hour. It was fun. Brings back good childhood memories. Although I wasn't much help LOL. I'm never much help. That's just me. Like I want to help but I don't know what to do and at the same time I'm scared I might cause even more trouble. I want to help parents do the dishes but like kay they yell at me to do it and I do it and then they say I do a bad job of it so they end up doing it themself and the cycle repeats again. I think I should just get myself in trouble just so they let me do the dishes. I feel less guilty. UGGH!! MUST FACE FEARS. NOT. I RATHER NOT. I realized that I don't like changes.... even though not all changes are bad but I'm afraid of changes, I'm a loser. The End.


I can't understand myself sometimes. I'm kinda bipolar... :S UGH KAY NVM that just makes me sound like a creep. KAYY ERRR I DON'T KNOW. This is what I mean, I don't know! I NEVER KNOW. You know what? I should just change my blog title to " I don't know" since I don't know. I don't even know what I don't know.

Kawaii Crepe

Me and Mayanne's Bubble tea. The only thing we brought during the entire day :P

I'M FEELING GREAT

kay well maybe not great but feeling a lot better than last night. Like a lot lot better. So yea went to St.Vital yesterday with Jessica, Mayanne, Helen, Helen, Peggy and Amy. It was pretty fun! I wasn't really in the shopping mood ): So yea didn't really do anything there except sit at every bench while they shop.. There is always next time but it was fun though. We also went to Kawaii Crepe. I brought green apple bubble tea. I miss the ones in Toronto D: After that we bus back home and I went straight to bed. Slept from 6 to 6. GRRR Hate how I always wake up randomly! Annoying. That's why I can never sleep long even if I really wanted to.

After a good rest I feel fine now. :D Went to grant park because sister broke her retainers again LOL! HEHEHEHE After we stayed at polo for a bit. Would have stayed longer but brother kept begging to go home -___- I figure I only like the jackets at Aritzia. I must get a job ):  LOL I kept prank calling my mom using my ipod. IT WAS FUNNY! She was watching her dramas and I kept calling her. IT WAS FUN. But then she found out it was me.!! HEHEHEHEHE

I don't even know why I was so sad last night. I just felt really sad :( well I'm going out later so hopefully that cheers me up. I don't really like telling people my problems because I don't want them worrying about me. I only tell them when I desperately need someone to talk to. Why can't I live near a ocean? One day I wanna do those message in a bottle thingys but I think that's considered littering. I don't know I mean I'm always scared to open up to people even to some of my closest friends. I feel so weak sometimes but it's easier than being strong. Im always scared that people will leave me maybe that's why I choose to leave first. You know every time I like someone they always either a) doesn't like me back b) likes someone else c) or ends up moving to a different school. Ohkay whatever screw that -_-" and one day I will go to Alaska. 

Honestly just stop please. You think you guys are stressed out? Well so am I ! Why can't you just look at it from from our side. Just once and see how it is. You say I stay in the house all day so i go out. I stay out a bit late and you yell at me. I'm just doing what you want me to do. You don't want me in the house I leave. At least stop stepping down on us. Like we have feelings too :( don't just assume. Try and understand first

One day I will be free from everyone and everything. And I can express my own thoughts without having someone stepping down on it. I will find someone that appreciates my existence. 

Top three things I hate the most in my life :
1: people yelling at me
2: people leaving me behind 
3: people taking me for granted 

*random picture off google. 
*sigh how I wish I was there right now. Away from everything. Something seems to be bothering me right now but I don't know what it is. Maybe I'm just tired.

BORED AND I DON'T WANT TO SLEEP

SO I SHALL MAKE A LIST. RANDOM LIST OF RANDOM THINGS I WANNA DO ATM

• GO to Alaska 
• hiking & fishing
• shopping
• sit on a deck with a laptop and hot chocolate
• EAT ICE CREAM hehehehe
• Look at the stars 
• Sit on a swing set and think (daddy brought one )
• I actually really want to sing atm
• wish it would snow 

I think the sky looks really pretty when it snows. 

WHAT A SUPER DUPER BORING DAYYY!!

I didn't do anything today ): SAD LIFE OH WELL Today I don't feel like doing anything so WHATEVER! *sigh. SO like I have nothing to talk about... SO ER BYE? It feels like I'm wasting my day away. I'm so lazy, inactive and I sit in front of the computer ALLL DAYYY!! LIFELESS I should have just went to New York with my cousins. OH WELL!

I wonder where he is right now.

I AM SO TIRED. SLEPT AT 4AM LAST NIGHT BUT I DON'T CARE! Minus the radiation part that's killing my eyes :S One day I will pull an all nighter. I'm just saying. Hmm what to do today. Might go out later with dad and watch a movie. Right now I am going to finish You're Beautiful <333

Sooooooooooooooooo tired

But I don't want to sleep yet. I seem to be blogging a lot but I guess this is better than ranting it out on someone. I hate it when people take out their anger on you. I just don't think anyone deserves to be treated like that. Just because you're mad doesn't give you the right to ruin someone else's day. Go punch a pillow or something. Or drive to a pond/lake and yell all your anger away! (since Winnipeg has no oceans)

I don't mind listening to others rant.

Omg give me a break please. I just wanna smack someone in the face right now -_- I can't do anything to make you better or say. I can't say I fully understand what you're going through because I never lost someone I love. But I don't know what to say/do. I just feel helpless and reply with the same reply. We know you're going through a hard time but always thinking about it and crying won't change anything. I'm sure if she sees you right now she would want you to be happy and live a good life. Why are you so tunnel vision? There is more than one way to a solution. Why can't you look at it from a different side. Instead of crying why don't you be happy for her. I'm pretty sure she wants to see you smile. I do too. But maybe this is all just me. My mind is pretty simple but I just don't see why people have to
make things complicated. Just like in math there is more than one way to solve a problem but it all depends on how you look at it and how you approach it. 

Talking to my friend Daniel at the moment. Currently he's outside. I wanna be outside too right now. Just away from everything and everyone. I want to look at the stars and just stare at the sky. I don't care if there are mosquitoes or flies. I sometimes love the night. I love how everything is so still and silent. How I wish life can be like that sometimes. All I ever wanted was a simple life that is all. I keep getting dragged into things. OMG like the printer thing. My dad thought I broke it just because it was in my room. I didn't even use it last. I helped fixing it but just got dragged into it for that. Last time I helped my friend transferred a message and she got mad at me for that. WHAT THE HECK. I'm just helping! Sometimes I feel like a burden to others. I want to help but I tend to make things worst. I'm always giving trouble to people. Like one morning I had a physics test that day and my sister was helping me the last minute. I should have asked earlier. I hate how I'm like that sometimes. Maybe I should just do nothing but then again I'm already doing nothing. Doing nothing achieving nothing. I admit I get decent grades (except English) but I always feel like that's not enough. I know I could do so much better but how come I'm not doing it? I'm not pushing myself hard enough. I don't get myself. I never know what I really want. I wonder if anyone actually reads my BLOG lol I told 3 of my friends but it was quite sometime ago. I wonder if he still reads it. 


I honestly just don't get people right now. Kay like why are you telling me he's not responding to your text? I can't do anything about it. It's not that I don't care about you but every single time he doesn't respond you tell me well us rather. What can I do for you? Like really.. tell me. If I can do it I will do it for you because I really consider us good friends and as a friend I do care about you. But sometimes you just go over my limit. I can only do so much for anyone. I was gonna say you should give him some personal space and stop texting him for a day but like yea no. I don't give good advice or when I do it doesn't go too well :S I don't even wanna think about it any more. Tonight is just a night where I really just don't care any more.  GOOD NIGHT 

*sigh I hate how I'm not even part of something but I ended up being part of it just because that person said "we"... LIKE OMMGGG SO ANNOYED WHY DOES SHE ALWAYS HAVE TO MAKE A BIG DEAL OUT OF EVERYTHINGG!!!! AND DRAGGING ME INTO IT!! WHAT THE F*** LIKE HONESTLY STOP DOING THAT. EVERY SINGLE TIME. FRICK. Like I don't even talk about them like really? YOU'RE THE ONE SHOVING YOUR PHONE IN OUR FACE! I'm not the one saying "they look cute together" and stuff like that. I JUST AGREE TO YOU!! LIKE HONESTLY WHAT DO YOU WANT ME TO SAY!!!!!!!!!!! WHY CAN'T YOU JUST LEAVE THEM ALONE AND LET THEM BE! INSTEAD OF SAYING THE SAME THING EVERY SINGLE DAY! LIKE HONESTLY DO YOU HAVE TO TALK ABOUT IT 24/7 ON MSN. KAY LIKE I GET THE FRICKEN POINT. You don't have to repeat yourself EVERY SINGLE DAY! I GET IT. OMFG!!! I didn't know that agreeing to things you know makes ME part of it. JHEEZZZZ THANK YOU! ... AND YOU TWEET ABOUT IT TOO ! LIKE REALLLYYYYYYYYYYY

My day today was pretty great until now.. JHEEZZ I don't even know why she's telling us this. I'm so tempted to say " we don't even talk about them". I'm not even joking. Anyway, went to the gym today to exercise. Me and Jessica did mile run and it wasn't too bad :) I think I pulled a muscle though. IT WAS PAIN. We played badminton and basketball. YEAH JESSICA is pro at basketball :P It was fun. Good day. Just finished watching you're beautiful episode 12. Was gonna watch 3 eps but not in the mood any more. So apparently he's going on his trip tomorrow. I hope he has a safe trip. He's leaving in seven hours. In seven hours he will actually be distant from me.

Without Words- (Park Shin Hye)

You're Beautiful (OST) - Without Words (Park Shin Hye)

I'm loving this song at the moment :D I like the guy version too ! 

*sigh yet another boring day. Walked to the library with sister and OMG GOT a mosquito bite -_- THOSE DEVILS! :S So basically I spent my day watching You're beautiful! :) GOOD DRAMA

To be honest after we had that talk it feels a lot easier to talk to him now that things are clear. But I can't help but to think back those last two weeks of school. I remember wanting to make it the most special weeks ever because after that its gonna be over. It ended up being somewhat the worst two weeks. Its just that I never thought something like that would happen to me. I never thought that I would actually meet someone like him. Now its just I don't know. I don't know if I still like him or not. It's kinda mixed at the moment. I won't think about it any more. I seriously won't. I don't think it matters to me any more. I wonder how its going to be when I see him again. When school starts again... Life is just so weird sometimes.

*sigh I want to go shopping :) HAHA can't wait until Monday. Planning something with Amy hehehe

LOL what a day. Didn't do anything really expect eat, sleep and repeat. Woke up at like 12:30, clean my closet again... YUP that's it basically. Went for a walk with fam. We walked to Tim Hortons lol!!

Seriously need a life *sigh

Day not wasted. I feel bad wasting my day sometimes like I just sit in front of the computer or just walk around the house doing nothing. I want to go out. Do things that requires no money or not a lot of money. I don't like wasting time because time is something that you will never get back in your life. If its gone its gone, nothing else to it.

So why was my day not wasted ? BECAUSE I DID SOMETHING. What did I do today? I WENT OUT!! :P I went to Mandy's. We played monopoly, cards, went to the park, and just random games like truth or dare. One question we asked today was: what do you look for in a guy? What do I look for in a guy? I'm actually really scared to like someone at the moment. I'm scared that the same thing might happen all over again. You know history can actually repeat itself. After he said sorry to me last night I felt bad. He grew a liking for me yet he rejects me. I don't get that. I don't think I ever will and I don't want to any more. To be honest, I'm scared I might fall for him all over again. All I really look for in a guy is someone that makes me smile and will never leave me behind. I just hate it when people leave me behind or when you walk with someone they just walk in front of you. That's why I like it when I walk side by side with someone. It feels like that I'm actually there and not just some random person.

SO NOT READY

you know the saying expect the unexpected. It feels like I've been experiencing that a lot this year. Well, at least the first half of the year. I can't believe that its July. Met a great group of friends that I never thought of meeting. Everything that happened between me and him up until this very moment. It just seems so unreal to me now. I wasn't expecting that he would tell me this. I actually already let go of finding the answer because it really doesn't matter to me any more? What difference does it make if I know the answer or not? Does it really change anything that already happened? I can't think right now. I really need to absorb what he just said. I just can't get it through my head. He told me that as time went by in physics he grew a liking of me. I guess that was something.. We got close (a little too close ) that sometimes I wonder what we are. It felt like we were just friends but at times we were more. He said that he distant himself from me because he felt that we were getting too close. That was so random though... how he just stops talking to me. I was really sad because it just hurt so much. Thinking back to it still hurts that's why I don't think about it. I guess I'm relief now? After awhile knowing the answer just didn't matter to me any more. Knowing that it doesn't change what we are. But in a way I'm glad he told me. I should be sorry too... I allowed all those things to happened. I'm not sorry that it happened but sorry that I could have dealt with it better.

Boring yet unexpected. My day today:
Woke up... ATE. We went to McDonald's. And randomly out of no where we decided to go to polo. I was like not expecting that. I had like no money. Mandy only paid 5 cents for the bus ride while I paid two dollars! I felt bad eating all my friends food. D: BUT I WAS SOOO HUNGRY! I want to go shopping.

BORED BORED BORED BORED BORED BORED BORED BORED BORED BORED BORED BORED BORED BORED BORED BORED BORED BORED BORED BORED BORED BORED BORED BORED BORED BORED BORED BORED BORED BORED BORED BORED BORED BORED BORED BORED BORED BORED BORED BORED BORED BORED BORED BORED BORED BORED BORED BORED BORED BORED BORED BORED BORED BORED BORED BORED BORED BORED BORED BORED BORED BORED BORED BORED BORED BORED BORED BORED BORED BORED BORED BORED BORED BORED BORED BORED BORED BORED BORED BORED BORED BORED BORED BORED BORED BORED BORED BORED BORED BORED BORED BORED BORED BORED BORED BORED BORED BORED BORED BORED BORED BORED BORED BORED BORED BORED BORED BORED BORED BORED BORED BORED BORED BORED BORED BORED BORED BORED BORED BORED BORED BORED BORED BORED BORED BORED BORED BORED BORED BORED BORED BORED BORED BORED BORED BORED BORED BORED BORED BORED BORED BORED BORED BORED BORED BORED BORED BORED BORED BORED BORED BORED BORED BORED

Didn't really do much today expect went to polo park again and Tim Hortons. Uncle was over for lunch and also help us take apart the kitchen. *sigh. Been facing that kitchen for over 16 years. Life goes on. I should have went out for a walk with dad and bro.

OMG He talked to me last night... Apparently he was at the fireworks too. I didn't see him. I guess this just goes to show that things just aren't meant to be. Like he was there, I was there.... *sigh. I was talking to my friend from B.C last night and she wants to confess to this guy. She's asking me for advice. I was never on good terms when it comes to stuff like that. They had similar conversations. Like the ones I had with him. The ironic part is that the guy she likes is also going to Seattle for vacation and so is he... ohhkay.. .. I hope it works out for her, them rather. He told me that he was on the phone last night. I wanted to ask who but I think I already know but at the same time I don't want to assume. I'm such a fool sometimes.. I swear every time I try putting him away and all those memories we had, somehow it keeps coming back. WHHYY MEEEEE?

Watching you're beautiful right now! Episode 3

Our rice from Thursday THAI EXPRESS (Y)

Been going out like everyday this week. HAHA It was fun. :D Today we were going to go to the forks but ended up going to polo park instead. Talk about luck lol the moment we went down the bus arrived. Like HOLY! Also on the way back we also just caught the bus in time as well. What a lucky bus day :) I'm glad that it's not that hot today compared to the day we went to St. Vital. That bus ride was quite torture -_-" I can still remember the heat.

Well I guess it's time to put him away. Not aside. I think I can do it this time........

There's not much to blog over summertime if I don't do anything. Everyday feels the same. Sometimes I just get too lazy. I owe my sister four dollars for food. MUST.GET.JOB

Fireworks at Tyndall last night

It's hard to understand what parents are thinking of these days. My sister like just got busted about her relationship and like right now both of my parents are against it. My mom is like saying how you should focus in school but my sister has the highest grade in her grade. My dad is just like " he can't come over" I sometimes hate how my parents are so racist. I feel bad for her. I don't know what I can do to help. I'm just like here like always ....... [present]

*sigh also at the fireworks my bro fell off the play structure and landed right on his face. ouch. Foreshadowing....

At times like this I'm glad that I'm single. Relationships sometimes are just so ugh! Problems, headaches, tears & time. Smh.

HAPPY BELATED CANADA DAY EVERYONE!

Yesterday was fun. LOL we kind of celebrated Mandy's grad. I invited her over to my place along with Jeff and Jessica. Highlight of yesterday was playing mahjong and me and Jeff winning (Y) Jessica and Mandy had to kiss my Aaron Yan poster LOL talk about awkward LOOOOL Also had fun taking pictures lol

Went to St.Vital yesterday with Cousin, sister and Jhemily. LOL Didn't really buy anything but OMG around like one year ago we were at St.Vital as well and we were eating at the food court and some guy came over and talked to us. Well yesterday that same guy came and talked to us again only like one year later. Same location lol the food court. LIKE OMGGG IS that fate ? LOL We don't even know him. I really like his friendly approaches. BUT AS IF!!

HAPPPY CANADA DAY!!! 
Pretty good day with fam today. Too bad mother had work D: We coulda gone to the beach instead. LOL anyhow I had fun :D we went to assiniboine park and we got to ride on the train. IT WAS FUN! :) I'm never too old for that. You needed an adult thats over 16. My sister told that dude that but he didn't seem convince that I was over 16.. okhhayy then.. lol :P After we went for ice-cream and milkshakes at BDI <333 

HAPPY CANADA DAY EVERYONE!