No difference ......

Every single guy is the same. Back then in second semester when I confessed to him he told me that he's unsure and then he added " don't worry I'll still hold your hand and hug you" and now a different guy asks me "Just wondering do you like the time we spend because, there's someone to hold you or because it's me" so they think I'm like that. I just let anyone do whatever .... I like being close to someone I really do. It's makes me feel safe and warm inside but damn .... Haha But not just anyone... Like damn... I'm not like  that. Life is always playing jokes on me.

Ever since you confessed to me I have to admit I've been thinking about you a lot. I thought about us. I thought about a "relationship" but I can't give you an answer because I'm unsure and I'm having mix feelings for everything. I'm just so confused right now. Like Frick. Whatever... He thinks I'm with him because I want to be close to someone... lol... I mean I do but it's because of him. I wouldn't want anyone else doing something like that to me. Like that one time we went to starbucks together. We didn't do anything that was " close" and i still had a great time. But now... wow just wow i don't even know what to say like damn. Sometimes I wonder if I really do like him. The one day we didn't talk I did miss him and it bothered me a lot. I do feel something towards him but I just got to be more sure of it ... you know what?? Just screw everything... It's probably gonna end shitty anyway. If it didn't work out the first time why would it work out the second time. Why bother wasting each others time. He thinks I'm like that anyway. Just getting close to him for the sake of being close to someone. Yea because I'm just that easy and that open. Fuck everything. Like seriously just forget and screw everything. Maybe he didn't even intend it that way and I'm just over sensitive. Not that it matters anymore. Usually I don't give a shit about what people think because I don't like explaining myself but damn hearing him ask me that... Even I'm starting to think I'm like that ... :( it even hurts when i think about myself that way. screw everything. I hate guys.