Today was a better day I must say! Things in terms of school is falling into a routine and I'm starting to get used to it. I actually like chemistry at the moment. Maybe its because all he did was talk... I kind of like my class too. I'm sitting with Kim [omggg this is going to be an interesting class] and Jessica. I'm actually really worried about all my classes especially English.. Maybe its because it was never really my strength. The teacher kind of scares me toooo~~ :S If I had a choice I would drop but then if I drop it I can't take English trans second semester as I need English 40S in order to take it... -_-" I seriously don't have the confidence for that class. I can't compose anything like seriously -_-" And the class is over populated too. Wish the class was smaller. It makes learning easier. Hope English works out.. I actually miss Ms.Krawchuk... She doesn't scared me as much as Tulner S: although she marks hard but I think he's gonna mark 10 times as hard. I don't feel ready at all :S
My lunch hour was awesome in a way. I miss say I miss Mandy and Aaron. Lunch hours without them is not the same. It seems a lot more quiet and empty.. I miss them I must say.
He seems sad... Is it because of me??? I feel bad ): Life is weird. Just like 3 days ago we were talking and now BAM.. I don't know if that's a good thing or a bad thing.. I want him to be happy but I don't think I'm the one to give him the happiness. I don't know. Maybe its just me but he seems sad or down... or something. If the stuff that has happened us didn't happen at all maybe things would be different right now.. I don't know. I don't regret because it was once what I wanted. I didn't know it would lead up to this. Maybe I should have handle this differently. I did such a bad job of it. It feels kind of awkward to even be friends. I don't even know what to say to him in class. I feel bad because it seems like I don't want to talk to him but really I just don't know what to say. Dang.. I screwed up big time... EFFFFFFFF
This kind of reminds me of last summer. summer of 2010. Although it was nothing like this. Not even close. I met this guy at this place I used to go to for math tutoring. He was about 4 years older than me. He helped me with math and I found out that he went to Sisler. Of course I didn't know him because I was in gr9 at that time and he was graduating that year. I didn't like him or anything. Kay, this might sound creepy but over the summer I had a lot of time in my hand. I searched him up and added him on facebook. I don't even remember how I knew his last name. I added him and inbox him asking if me remembers me and what not. And so that started a conversation that lasted about 1 and a half months? Fast forward here comes school. Grade 11 precal started rough on me. I didn't understand how to graph the sine and cosine shit. So I asked him for help and he actually offered to meet up at the library to help me. I was like wow he's nice. But I don't know I guess things just went ehhhh. He even offered to help me again although the second time around I wasn't so interested.. So yea we stopped talking over the inbox all together. I even stopped going to that math place. [ my grades actually got better after I stopped going. Maybe its just me] I don't know.... Life is weird.
But that is way different compared to this summer. I don't know what to do... I don't want to avoid it any more. He seems down and I can't help but to feel that its because of me. :/ I don't handle these stuff well and I know that from past experience... D: Maybe this is indicating that I'm designated to be forever alone...
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