"Beginnings are scary. Endings are usually sad, but it’s the middle that counts the most."-
I am bored. I mean there are millions of others things that I could be doing like reading, making my chem title page and doing my precal homework but hmmm I'm not doing it *sigh I just feel so bored and hungry.. It's so hard to break this lazy habit D: Anyway forgot to mention that its my bro's birthday today!!! HAHAHA he's old. He's 7 now :O Omg in three years he's going to be 10! As if seven 7 passed by already. I still remember when he first came home and what not. He's so annoying now no offence :P Time sure goes by fast.
I'm scared. I seriously am. I'm scared about the future and where I want to go after high school and what I want to get into... I'm scared just about almost anything. I'm scared to take chances.. One year from now where will I be? What will I be doing? Who will I met? Who will I still be in contact with? Who will I drift from? So many answers that I want to know. But some things are better left unknown like the future. Less hope equals less disappointment. You never know what's going to happen. Its scary but at the same time there is excitement. We live right now just so we can move into the future tomorrow. Just live life one day at a time.
Friday, September 9, 2011
I just don't feel like I know myself very well right now, so how can I be sure about anything? ....
I've got to admit.. I miss how we used to talk. It was so fun and interesting. Our topics always varied hahahaha I'm not really used to it now I mean not talking to him over twitter any more. I don't know.. It just feels different. I got so used to it over the summer... *dang...... :/ I think he hates me or something... I mean if I were him I would too. I mean we don't wait for each other after class and what not. I stayed after English for just one minute because Tulner was talking to me and BAM he's gone... k that's cool.. I wasn't even the one that ended our twitter talk. I mean he said good morning and I did too....... Everything just feels different. hmmm..... As long as he's happy. Sometimes we just have to go along with life and whatever happens happens.
I'm getting used to school. I knew we had an a/c for precal today!!! Wuhahahhahahaha I was prepared. I studied last night and got 8.5/10. Way better than my first one... I got 3/5.. That's because it was a random out of no where one... -_- I still like Chemistry at the moment :) He didn't give us homework yet. All he did was talk 8) I love this room. Its cool 8) cool as in the room is cool like its not warm but cool.
I saw this on one of my friend's facebook status and I thought that it was really cute ahhaha
only 12% of the Earth's population can solve this puzzle in 30 seconds. Say the opposite of these words:
1. Always
2. Coming
3. From
4. Take
5. Me
6. Down
YOU GET IT????????????
I'm getting used to school. I knew we had an a/c for precal today!!! Wuhahahhahahaha I was prepared. I studied last night and got 8.5/10. Way better than my first one... I got 3/5.. That's because it was a random out of no where one... -_- I still like Chemistry at the moment :) He didn't give us homework yet. All he did was talk 8) I love this room. Its cool 8) cool as in the room is cool like its not warm but cool.
I saw this on one of my friend's facebook status and I thought that it was really cute ahhaha
only 12% of the Earth's population can solve this puzzle in 30 seconds. Say the opposite of these words:
1. Always
2. Coming
3. From
4. Take
5. Me
6. Down
YOU GET IT????????????
Thursday, September 8, 2011
I just feel bad.. like seriously... D:
Like seriously...... ))): I feel so sad.. I don't know what to do... Feels like he doesn't even want to talk to me even as a friend.. I don't know he just seems sad and what not.. Ugh why do I fail so much like seriously..... effffffffff can we like not even be friends now?? ): well I don't blame him. I'm such a sad person. I wish there was a different solution to this... He already seems stressed out because of moving and now it feels like I'm adding to his stress... why am I like this? why I can't I do something well for once in life. Why does it feel like that I'm always hurting the ones that care about me the most? .....
Do things always get worse before they get any better?
Today was a better day I must say! Things in terms of school is falling into a routine and I'm starting to get used to it. I actually like chemistry at the moment. Maybe its because all he did was talk... I kind of like my class too. I'm sitting with Kim [omggg this is going to be an interesting class] and Jessica. I'm actually really worried about all my classes especially English.. Maybe its because it was never really my strength. The teacher kind of scares me toooo~~ :S If I had a choice I would drop but then if I drop it I can't take English trans second semester as I need English 40S in order to take it... -_-" I seriously don't have the confidence for that class. I can't compose anything like seriously -_-" And the class is over populated too. Wish the class was smaller. It makes learning easier. Hope English works out.. I actually miss Ms.Krawchuk... She doesn't scared me as much as Tulner S: although she marks hard but I think he's gonna mark 10 times as hard. I don't feel ready at all :S
My lunch hour was awesome in a way. I miss say I miss Mandy and Aaron. Lunch hours without them is not the same. It seems a lot more quiet and empty.. I miss them I must say.
He seems sad... Is it because of me??? I feel bad ): Life is weird. Just like 3 days ago we were talking and now BAM.. I don't know if that's a good thing or a bad thing.. I want him to be happy but I don't think I'm the one to give him the happiness. I don't know. Maybe its just me but he seems sad or down... or something. If the stuff that has happened us didn't happen at all maybe things would be different right now.. I don't know. I don't regret because it was once what I wanted. I didn't know it would lead up to this. Maybe I should have handle this differently. I did such a bad job of it. It feels kind of awkward to even be friends. I don't even know what to say to him in class. I feel bad because it seems like I don't want to talk to him but really I just don't know what to say. Dang.. I screwed up big time... EFFFFFFFF
This kind of reminds me of last summer. summer of 2010. Although it was nothing like this. Not even close. I met this guy at this place I used to go to for math tutoring. He was about 4 years older than me. He helped me with math and I found out that he went to Sisler. Of course I didn't know him because I was in gr9 at that time and he was graduating that year. I didn't like him or anything. Kay, this might sound creepy but over the summer I had a lot of time in my hand. I searched him up and added him on facebook. I don't even remember how I knew his last name. I added him and inbox him asking if me remembers me and what not. And so that started a conversation that lasted about 1 and a half months? Fast forward here comes school. Grade 11 precal started rough on me. I didn't understand how to graph the sine and cosine shit. So I asked him for help and he actually offered to meet up at the library to help me. I was like wow he's nice. But I don't know I guess things just went ehhhh. He even offered to help me again although the second time around I wasn't so interested.. So yea we stopped talking over the inbox all together. I even stopped going to that math place. [ my grades actually got better after I stopped going. Maybe its just me] I don't know.... Life is weird.
But that is way different compared to this summer. I don't know what to do... I don't want to avoid it any more. He seems down and I can't help but to feel that its because of me. :/ I don't handle these stuff well and I know that from past experience... D: Maybe this is indicating that I'm designated to be forever alone...
My lunch hour was awesome in a way. I miss say I miss Mandy and Aaron. Lunch hours without them is not the same. It seems a lot more quiet and empty.. I miss them I must say.
He seems sad... Is it because of me??? I feel bad ): Life is weird. Just like 3 days ago we were talking and now BAM.. I don't know if that's a good thing or a bad thing.. I want him to be happy but I don't think I'm the one to give him the happiness. I don't know. Maybe its just me but he seems sad or down... or something. If the stuff that has happened us didn't happen at all maybe things would be different right now.. I don't know. I don't regret because it was once what I wanted. I didn't know it would lead up to this. Maybe I should have handle this differently. I did such a bad job of it. It feels kind of awkward to even be friends. I don't even know what to say to him in class. I feel bad because it seems like I don't want to talk to him but really I just don't know what to say. Dang.. I screwed up big time... EFFFFFFFF
This kind of reminds me of last summer. summer of 2010. Although it was nothing like this. Not even close. I met this guy at this place I used to go to for math tutoring. He was about 4 years older than me. He helped me with math and I found out that he went to Sisler. Of course I didn't know him because I was in gr9 at that time and he was graduating that year. I didn't like him or anything. Kay, this might sound creepy but over the summer I had a lot of time in my hand. I searched him up and added him on facebook. I don't even remember how I knew his last name. I added him and inbox him asking if me remembers me and what not. And so that started a conversation that lasted about 1 and a half months? Fast forward here comes school. Grade 11 precal started rough on me. I didn't understand how to graph the sine and cosine shit. So I asked him for help and he actually offered to meet up at the library to help me. I was like wow he's nice. But I don't know I guess things just went ehhhh. He even offered to help me again although the second time around I wasn't so interested.. So yea we stopped talking over the inbox all together. I even stopped going to that math place. [ my grades actually got better after I stopped going. Maybe its just me] I don't know.... Life is weird.
But that is way different compared to this summer. I don't know what to do... I don't want to avoid it any more. He seems down and I can't help but to feel that its because of me. :/ I don't handle these stuff well and I know that from past experience... D: Maybe this is indicating that I'm designated to be forever alone...
Wednesday, September 7, 2011
feeling the stress already & its only the first day
My day wasn't bad. It just felt very very long -_-" *sigh My math teacher Mr. Parker gave us homework on the first day. OMMMGG I don't remember any of this. SHIT!! I spent 3 hrs doing it and I didn't even finish!! I feel so tired right now! Maybe going to wal-mart last night at 9:30 pm wasn't such a great idea after all :S EFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF FEEL SO ANNOYED and stressed and unsure but mostly stressed. I don't even know why I'm annoyed D:
I've been thinking a lot.... A lot has happened last month. Like seriously a lot. I've given myself a chance at it and I don't know. Right now it feels like that this isn't what I really want. Maybe I'm making decisions based on temporary feelings but yea... I just don't feel it any more :S I feel like that he isn't the one for me after all. I don't know..... We don't even talk as much now and I feel maybe that's not even a bad thing at all. Maybe its better for both of us. He feels more like a brother or even a close friend but right now I don't really see him as a boyfriend or anything along those lines. Yeaah... I don't know. Feels like we shouldn't talk about it right now. I mean school just started [and precal is already stressing me out] and he lives far. Not to mention that he has to wake up early and what not. I don't feel like its right to talk about it now.. But would things get worse and more complicated as time goes on? And I have two classes with him too....... He's probably more focus than me anyway.. Since he was no internet.. He probably won't be reading this.. Which is good. I'm not really ready to deal with it yet if anything. After all avoiding is my thing.
Its kind of sad... Someone that once meant so much to you, someone that you were once really close to passes by you in the hallway and its like you guys never even met... Dang... When I pass by that hallway and especially him memories would just flood my mind. Both good and bad. *sigh I'm finishing dream high right now.
I've been thinking a lot.... A lot has happened last month. Like seriously a lot. I've given myself a chance at it and I don't know. Right now it feels like that this isn't what I really want. Maybe I'm making decisions based on temporary feelings but yea... I just don't feel it any more :S I feel like that he isn't the one for me after all. I don't know..... We don't even talk as much now and I feel maybe that's not even a bad thing at all. Maybe its better for both of us. He feels more like a brother or even a close friend but right now I don't really see him as a boyfriend or anything along those lines. Yeaah... I don't know. Feels like we shouldn't talk about it right now. I mean school just started [and precal is already stressing me out] and he lives far. Not to mention that he has to wake up early and what not. I don't feel like its right to talk about it now.. But would things get worse and more complicated as time goes on? And I have two classes with him too....... He's probably more focus than me anyway.. Since he was no internet.. He probably won't be reading this.. Which is good. I'm not really ready to deal with it yet if anything. After all avoiding is my thing.
Its kind of sad... Someone that once meant so much to you, someone that you were once really close to passes by you in the hallway and its like you guys never even met... Dang... When I pass by that hallway and especially him memories would just flood my mind. Both good and bad. *sigh I'm finishing dream high right now.
Tuesday, September 6, 2011
AS if school is tomorrow D:
My last day is pretty great. *sigh as if school is really tomorrow. Time to face reality again D: And stress and work and homework and studying and exams........ D: This morning I went to get my time table change lol I filled in my spare with Accounting HAHA XD After that we went to Tim Horton's and then cousins. She gave us a pencil and we went bowling at polo after. Brought a sweater at garage. I seriously got to stop buying clothes... like seriously. We then went back to cousins and drank soup. After that we went to the library and then Sobeys to buy lunch for school tomorrow ):
At home I cleaned my room and started packing for school. Had so much laundry to do. Right now I'm finishing dream high. AS IF SCHOOL IS ACTUALLY TOMORROW )))):
I'm ready I'm ready I'm ready I'm ready I'm ready I'm ready I'm ready I'm ready I'm ready I'm readyI'm ready I'm ready I'm ready I'm ready I'm ready I'm ready I'm ready I'm ready I'm ready I'm ready I'm ready I'm ready I'm ready I'm ready I'm ready I'm ready I'm ready I'm ready I'm ready I'm ready who am I kidding???? I'm NOT ready D:
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)