I am pretty satisfied with my English provincial mark but I felt like I could have done better if I didn't take an hour and a half doing the first three paragraphs and bs-ing the last 4... Frick man I didn't even read everything but I ended up with a pretty good mark so I'm happy with that. Pre-cal provincial made me sad... >.<

Went to Tim's with him this morning :] I like hanging out with him. He's humorous, silly... in general I just like being with him.

I will actually work on my essay now and chemistry tomorrow... Let's get this over with

He's great :]

I was going to wake up early this morning to study for my quotes test today... LOL I did wake up early but ended up going back to sleep.

Spare was so lonely this morning ): It was just me, myself & I.

I'm finally getting the labs done... Well somewhat.

And I got 31/34 on my quotes test :] It made my dayyyyy

I took a nap to feel better but now I have a massive headache

Superior lunch but eggs for dinner HARHARHAR !

Chinese New Year lunch with the fam yesterday

Happy Chinese New Years everyone! :)

This is so heartbreaking. It's hurting me so much. I would spend 15 minutes just reading one page and find myself wondering elsewhere. What is wrong with me? Like seriously I would cry at the fact that when I send him a heart he doesn't send one back. Or when I point it out that he doesn't he totally ignores it. Ouch... When I send you a  it's because I really do feel that way... Especially when you're back from somewhere. I do feel  that you're back. At least I did before. I was hoping you would send me one back as well. I guess you just don't feel that way any more.

I don't want to love anyone that way ever again. I cannot bear the cons of it.

I will never send it again. Never. Nor will I say "I love you" or "I miss you" ever again. The feeling that I get when I send it but end up not receiving one back is too painful for me to endure. I was never strong to being with and probably never will be. It sucks because when he sends me a  or a smiley of some sort and when he tells me that loves me or that he misses me these things makes me real happy. It hurts now... the fact that the littlest things are hurting me the most.  

Just knowing that he texts me when he gets up in the morning and the simple words he uses makes me feel important to him... and knowing the fact that I can bring happiness to him...

To be honest... I am scared that he will find someone better or loses interest in me... or simply gets bored of me... I'm scared that someone can bring even more happiness to him than I do.... because I know I have many many flaws.

He once said that he won't find someone better... but who knows what's going to happen...

Do I still bring him happiness as I once did? Or did it already faded a little?

I love you... J.C

Birthday 2012 wishlist

Birthday Wish list-

•     Garage wish list http://www.garage.ca/cart/index.jsp?wlName=wl
•     Yoshi plushie 
•      Pillow pet- Preferably the panda one http://www.toysrus.ca/product/index.jsp?productId=11428261
• Bath and body works lotion- Black Raspberry Vanilla, Paris Amour
• Infinity scarf
• Domo plushie :$ 
• Potato chips
• Cylinder pillow thingys “num chum” not the really long ones though like half that size.
• Spartan hoodie and sweats
• Canada 2012 mitts cause my white mitts are getting dirty and I can't use it to shovel snow cause I don't want it to get dirty >.< 
• 
  

Words that warm me up

August 2, 2011

"I will be happy, no matter what happens between you and I. Nothing would make me happier than seeing you happy." 

"Even if you don't ask me to wait, I'll be here waiting. I want to, I choose to, whether you want me to or not. I won't find anyone else"

"I've already find you."

"I haven't seen the world, because I don't care about the rest of the world. I only want what's in Winnipeg, and that's you."

" Even if there were a million girls lined up infront of my door, I wouldn't want any of them."

"To me there is no better, It's really is okay. I am fine with waiting, even if the answer is not the same as what I want."

"I don't want to unlike you tho :( You may not think you're worth it, but whatever happens, to me you'll always be worth it :)"

"What do you mean "someone like you?" I can assure you, this is real. I've never been more sure of liking anyone."

"I don't wanna be a winner, I want to be a loser, if it means that I like you. "

"hah, you were sleepy that day. And like it was cute x] Your voice and you just were x] I'll always be willing to talk to you."

"Don't say sorry, if anyone's worth staying up for, it would be you. And I do believe in you. I think you're great too, words can't describe"

"I have faith in you. And whatever happens, happens, but my feelings won't change"

"Don't be scared. Whatever happens, happens. It doesn't mean that my feelings will fade."

"Take all the time you need, I've already met someone who makes me happy, and it's you. No matter what happens, you'll make me happy."

"You are amazing, you really are. You're not close to being amazing, because you're so much more.. To me"

"And that's what counts, it's not the start of the journey, but where it takes you that counts."

"Even if I do meet someone else, she won't be you. I don't care if she's "better" you're the best. You do make me happy.."

"You gave me a lot this summer too. All the time we spend together. It makes me happy. I'll stop if you'll be <3 That's all I want you to be"

"I'm just sorry for everything. I just really like you I guess.."

"don't be sorry.I just I don't want anyone else. you could be in a room filled with hundreds of others, but you'll be the only one that I see"

"I promise.. if it'll make you happy. but I won't find anyone that makes me happier than you."

"I know I can't control it, but really you're one of the only people I really want to talk to."

"I don't want to find someone else, I don't care if you're unsure. You make me happy. You really do. And I enjoy the time we spend together.."

"I'll give you so many hugs, next time I see you LOLOLOL. is putting my arm around you like .5 of a hug? an adventure is an adventure."

"Good morning Carmen! I hope you have a good day :) smile!"

"Because its cute, catching you look, then look away, I find it cute"

"Because you're beautiful"

"I think you are, really, when you smile, oh my heart melts a little"

Took our class picture today in pre-cal. I must say... I really will miss this class. It's not that I love the subject but it was the time spent in that class learning it. To me I think I had one of the greatest teacher. Not only is he funny (usually) and jokes around a lot but at the same time he is also serious about our work and tries his best to help us understand it. Will never forget this class #memories

11:11 right now... What do I wish ?

You make me so happy yet so sad... 

But ether way I still love you. 

I miss you so much right now... It's killing me inside but what should I say? When you tell me to do whatever even if it means going away... Do you still care? If I'm here or not ? 

Life is odd. A few hours ago we were talking on the phone and now no words are being spoken at all. It seems to me that life is always joking with me. Always coming close yet not just not close enough...

Once again I think I'm out of love again.. 

August 02/11 to January 15/12 will be forever embedded with my memory... Within my heart. 

It sucks... But what can I do? When you don't even seem to care what I do. What should I say? When you want me to be away. How should I react ? When you assume someone is going to tell me your whereabouts. 

I love you still but life goes on... 
Will you still be in it? 

11:11 I wish ... 

Take Me To Your Heart [Lyrics]

Hiding from the rain and snow 
Trying to forget but I won't let go 
Looking at a crowded street 
Listening to my own heart beat 
So many people all around the world 
Tell me where do I find someone like you gir 
Take me to your heart 
Take me to your soul 
Give me your hand before I'm old 
Show me what love is
Haven't got a clue 
Show me that wonders can be true 
They say nothing lasts forever 
We're only here today 
Love is now or never 
Bring me far away 
Take me to your heart 
Take me to your soul 
Give me your hand and hold me 
Show me what love is 
Be my guiding star 
It's easy 
Take me to your heart 
...
Standing on a mountain high 
Looking at the moon through a clear blue sky 
I should go and see some friends 
But they don't really comprehend 
Don't need too much talking 
Without saying anything 
All I need is someone 
Who makes me want to sing
Take me to your heart 
Take me to your soul 
Give me your hand before I'm old 
Show me what love is 
Haven't got a clue 
Show me that wonders can be true 
They say nothing lasts forever 
We're only here today 
Love is now or never 
Bring me far away 
Take me to your heart 
Take me to your soul 
Give me your hand and hold me
Show me what love is 
Be my guiding star 
It's easy 
Take me to your heart 
Take me to your heart 
Take me to your soul 
Give me your hand and hold me 
Show me what love is 
Be my guiding star 
It's easy 
Take me to your heart

Take Me To Your Heart

Currently listening to this song. I kinda like it. I don't know I find the lyrics really meaningful 

“The course of true love never runs smooth” -Shakespeare  

To do list:

Things to do

• Check if my application to university is complete
• Hand in deposit for trip...
• Retake grad photos maybe
• book road test
• gym logs 
• look for a grad dress that is not expensive

needs motivation

I've got too much to do and too much that I want to do.

I'm finally done with provincials today!! I think I could have done better on it. Like my math cumulative... I made the stupidest mistakes ever. If I actually took the time to review I wouldn't have made those mistakes. It was a very similar question to our previous cumulative. The way I study is just looking over it and it's really not good enough. My English essay for example, I think it could have been more profound. He said my central idea is good but it's not developed. I'm so pissed at myself for not taking the time and working at it. SO DUMB! -_- I'm not going to make all these stupid mistakes on my math provincial and hopefully it will replace my cumulative mark. I will actually put effort into my essay for Tess. Even if I still do bad in the end at least I can say that I tried.

I seriously need to hand in my deposit for Chicago :S

I hate volunteering. It is such a drag and such a pain. I can't wait for it to be over. There is actually sweat and tears in these hours. Well maybe not tears but definitely sweat.