Something unexpected happened a few hours ago. We were on skype again. I still remember the first time we skype. We were doing our chemistry homework. The second time was because you wanted to sing to me. You sang my angle. I felt so special back then and I thought we were more than that but I guess not. I kind of missed what we had but its ok, i'm over that now. It's just that talking to you again brings back memories that still seem unreal to me. I don't like you anymore but that doesn't mean my feelings for you are gone. Once you like someone even when you don't like them anymore those feeling will always be there.

I guess I really liked him a lot back then and disregarded ones that cared for me. Like him. He didn't talk to me yesterday or respond rather. I guess maybe it's better that way but I don't know why it's affecting me so much. It's just that I thought we were gonna play pool but I guess not and that's Ohkay I know you're busy with other things. I actually stayed up until 2am waiting for his reply. I don't know why but I did. If he wanted to reply he would have a long time ago but I waited anyway. Is this a sigh that I really do like him? Or maybe I did all along. I don't know. Maybe it's not that I don't like him but the fact of commitment is what I'm unsure about. I realized now that that's the part I'm actually unsure about all along. The part that I'm scared of. What if I do give us a chance but only to find out later that I only like him as a friend? What if my feelings faded. I don't know why this is getting to me so much. It's getting to me so much that I'm up at 6am typing this. I woke up at 4 and I actually thought I fell asleep on him but I woke up only to realize that I'm back to reality. Life is too tragic for me sometimes. Isn't this what I wanted? It's not because it's bothering me so much. I like talking to him that even though I know I will fall asleep I still want to stay up and talk to him.  I'm so used to it staying up and talking to him. But now I have to get used to him not talking anymore. I keep reading back to the message when you confessed to me. That seems unreal too. I almost remember every single word that you said to me that night. It's so meaningful that you can even take it and put it into a movie or a Korean drama. Are we not going to go on walks anymore or watch movies or watch the sunset or go on a random bus? The thought of those made me happy but to be honest I doubted that it will happen. Back then I asked him to go on a personal private time with me but it didn't happen so that's why I doubted that this will happen. I'm not surprise anyway. I guess maybe it's not all that bad. You're  going to forget me anyway. It's not the first time and I'm fine with that. As long as you're happy. And you're really awesome forreals.