Did I mention that I fucking hate today?

Like you said I don't reply to you so I reply back to you and my messages are just there. Fine.

I knew it wouldn't it last. I just knew that it wouldn't fucking last. I don't want to argue. I don't want to cry

Every day I try so hard to be happy but everything just crushes on me so hard each and every time.

I woke up and decided to take leadership and ownership in my life. I started off my day by clarifying the events that's happening today and those things being who's going to pick up brother after school (because I thought he did but apparently it's tomorrow) and who's going to drive me for grad retakes. All I got from them was bitching for simply just asking. When I thought school would be better I was wrong. I went to accounting early this morning but she wasn't there. She's always there in the morning but this morning she was late. I just stood there. I didn't realized how limited my time was after school. I had less than an hour to bus all the way home, shower, change, fix hair and get ready. So I just got off at the pond and ran all the way home. I was sweating only to realized that my mom got home early. When I got home she THEN told me that my uncle was going to give me a ride. Give me a break.

Will things ever get better for me? Will I ever reach that bar that I desire so much?

Because all you ever do is ignore me. So it's all right for you to leave my replies there but it''s not okay when I do. You know why I didn't ask you for a ride after school? Because I don't want you to think that I'm using you. Because I care how you feel. At times I wonder do you ever care how I feel? because it always seems like my feelings are nothing. Nothing at all. But it's okay. I started on my own and I don't find finishing on my own because in this world it only comes down to you.