*random picture off google. 
*sigh how I wish I was there right now. Away from everything. Something seems to be bothering me right now but I don't know what it is. Maybe I'm just tired.

BORED AND I DON'T WANT TO SLEEP

SO I SHALL MAKE A LIST. RANDOM LIST OF RANDOM THINGS I WANNA DO ATM

• GO to Alaska 
• hiking & fishing
• shopping
• sit on a deck with a laptop and hot chocolate
• EAT ICE CREAM hehehehe
• Look at the stars 
• Sit on a swing set and think (daddy brought one )
• I actually really want to sing atm
• wish it would snow 

I think the sky looks really pretty when it snows. 

WHAT A SUPER DUPER BORING DAYYY!!

I didn't do anything today ): SAD LIFE OH WELL Today I don't feel like doing anything so WHATEVER! *sigh. SO like I have nothing to talk about... SO ER BYE? It feels like I'm wasting my day away. I'm so lazy, inactive and I sit in front of the computer ALLL DAYYY!! LIFELESS I should have just went to New York with my cousins. OH WELL!

I wonder where he is right now.

I AM SO TIRED. SLEPT AT 4AM LAST NIGHT BUT I DON'T CARE! Minus the radiation part that's killing my eyes :S One day I will pull an all nighter. I'm just saying. Hmm what to do today. Might go out later with dad and watch a movie. Right now I am going to finish You're Beautiful <333

Sooooooooooooooooo tired

But I don't want to sleep yet. I seem to be blogging a lot but I guess this is better than ranting it out on someone. I hate it when people take out their anger on you. I just don't think anyone deserves to be treated like that. Just because you're mad doesn't give you the right to ruin someone else's day. Go punch a pillow or something. Or drive to a pond/lake and yell all your anger away! (since Winnipeg has no oceans)

I don't mind listening to others rant.

Omg give me a break please. I just wanna smack someone in the face right now -_- I can't do anything to make you better or say. I can't say I fully understand what you're going through because I never lost someone I love. But I don't know what to say/do. I just feel helpless and reply with the same reply. We know you're going through a hard time but always thinking about it and crying won't change anything. I'm sure if she sees you right now she would want you to be happy and live a good life. Why are you so tunnel vision? There is more than one way to a solution. Why can't you look at it from a different side. Instead of crying why don't you be happy for her. I'm pretty sure she wants to see you smile. I do too. But maybe this is all just me. My mind is pretty simple but I just don't see why people have to
make things complicated. Just like in math there is more than one way to solve a problem but it all depends on how you look at it and how you approach it. 

Talking to my friend Daniel at the moment. Currently he's outside. I wanna be outside too right now. Just away from everything and everyone. I want to look at the stars and just stare at the sky. I don't care if there are mosquitoes or flies. I sometimes love the night. I love how everything is so still and silent. How I wish life can be like that sometimes. All I ever wanted was a simple life that is all. I keep getting dragged into things. OMG like the printer thing. My dad thought I broke it just because it was in my room. I didn't even use it last. I helped fixing it but just got dragged into it for that. Last time I helped my friend transferred a message and she got mad at me for that. WHAT THE HECK. I'm just helping! Sometimes I feel like a burden to others. I want to help but I tend to make things worst. I'm always giving trouble to people. Like one morning I had a physics test that day and my sister was helping me the last minute. I should have asked earlier. I hate how I'm like that sometimes. Maybe I should just do nothing but then again I'm already doing nothing. Doing nothing achieving nothing. I admit I get decent grades (except English) but I always feel like that's not enough. I know I could do so much better but how come I'm not doing it? I'm not pushing myself hard enough. I don't get myself. I never know what I really want. I wonder if anyone actually reads my BLOG lol I told 3 of my friends but it was quite sometime ago. I wonder if he still reads it. 


I honestly just don't get people right now. Kay like why are you telling me he's not responding to your text? I can't do anything about it. It's not that I don't care about you but every single time he doesn't respond you tell me well us rather. What can I do for you? Like really.. tell me. If I can do it I will do it for you because I really consider us good friends and as a friend I do care about you. But sometimes you just go over my limit. I can only do so much for anyone. I was gonna say you should give him some personal space and stop texting him for a day but like yea no. I don't give good advice or when I do it doesn't go too well :S I don't even wanna think about it any more. Tonight is just a night where I really just don't care any more.  GOOD NIGHT 

*sigh I hate how I'm not even part of something but I ended up being part of it just because that person said "we"... LIKE OMMGGG SO ANNOYED WHY DOES SHE ALWAYS HAVE TO MAKE A BIG DEAL OUT OF EVERYTHINGG!!!! AND DRAGGING ME INTO IT!! WHAT THE F*** LIKE HONESTLY STOP DOING THAT. EVERY SINGLE TIME. FRICK. Like I don't even talk about them like really? YOU'RE THE ONE SHOVING YOUR PHONE IN OUR FACE! I'm not the one saying "they look cute together" and stuff like that. I JUST AGREE TO YOU!! LIKE HONESTLY WHAT DO YOU WANT ME TO SAY!!!!!!!!!!! WHY CAN'T YOU JUST LEAVE THEM ALONE AND LET THEM BE! INSTEAD OF SAYING THE SAME THING EVERY SINGLE DAY! LIKE HONESTLY DO YOU HAVE TO TALK ABOUT IT 24/7 ON MSN. KAY LIKE I GET THE FRICKEN POINT. You don't have to repeat yourself EVERY SINGLE DAY! I GET IT. OMFG!!! I didn't know that agreeing to things you know makes ME part of it. JHEEZZZZ THANK YOU! ... AND YOU TWEET ABOUT IT TOO ! LIKE REALLLYYYYYYYYYYY

My day today was pretty great until now.. JHEEZZ I don't even know why she's telling us this. I'm so tempted to say " we don't even talk about them". I'm not even joking. Anyway, went to the gym today to exercise. Me and Jessica did mile run and it wasn't too bad :) I think I pulled a muscle though. IT WAS PAIN. We played badminton and basketball. YEAH JESSICA is pro at basketball :P It was fun. Good day. Just finished watching you're beautiful episode 12. Was gonna watch 3 eps but not in the mood any more. So apparently he's going on his trip tomorrow. I hope he has a safe trip. He's leaving in seven hours. In seven hours he will actually be distant from me.

Without Words- (Park Shin Hye)

You're Beautiful (OST) - Without Words (Park Shin Hye)

I'm loving this song at the moment :D I like the guy version too ! 

*sigh yet another boring day. Walked to the library with sister and OMG GOT a mosquito bite -_- THOSE DEVILS! :S So basically I spent my day watching You're beautiful! :) GOOD DRAMA

To be honest after we had that talk it feels a lot easier to talk to him now that things are clear. But I can't help but to think back those last two weeks of school. I remember wanting to make it the most special weeks ever because after that its gonna be over. It ended up being somewhat the worst two weeks. Its just that I never thought something like that would happen to me. I never thought that I would actually meet someone like him. Now its just I don't know. I don't know if I still like him or not. It's kinda mixed at the moment. I won't think about it any more. I seriously won't. I don't think it matters to me any more. I wonder how its going to be when I see him again. When school starts again... Life is just so weird sometimes.

*sigh I want to go shopping :) HAHA can't wait until Monday. Planning something with Amy hehehe

LOL what a day. Didn't do anything really expect eat, sleep and repeat. Woke up at like 12:30, clean my closet again... YUP that's it basically. Went for a walk with fam. We walked to Tim Hortons lol!!

Seriously need a life *sigh

Day not wasted. I feel bad wasting my day sometimes like I just sit in front of the computer or just walk around the house doing nothing. I want to go out. Do things that requires no money or not a lot of money. I don't like wasting time because time is something that you will never get back in your life. If its gone its gone, nothing else to it.

So why was my day not wasted ? BECAUSE I DID SOMETHING. What did I do today? I WENT OUT!! :P I went to Mandy's. We played monopoly, cards, went to the park, and just random games like truth or dare. One question we asked today was: what do you look for in a guy? What do I look for in a guy? I'm actually really scared to like someone at the moment. I'm scared that the same thing might happen all over again. You know history can actually repeat itself. After he said sorry to me last night I felt bad. He grew a liking for me yet he rejects me. I don't get that. I don't think I ever will and I don't want to any more. To be honest, I'm scared I might fall for him all over again. All I really look for in a guy is someone that makes me smile and will never leave me behind. I just hate it when people leave me behind or when you walk with someone they just walk in front of you. That's why I like it when I walk side by side with someone. It feels like that I'm actually there and not just some random person.

SO NOT READY

you know the saying expect the unexpected. It feels like I've been experiencing that a lot this year. Well, at least the first half of the year. I can't believe that its July. Met a great group of friends that I never thought of meeting. Everything that happened between me and him up until this very moment. It just seems so unreal to me now. I wasn't expecting that he would tell me this. I actually already let go of finding the answer because it really doesn't matter to me any more? What difference does it make if I know the answer or not? Does it really change anything that already happened? I can't think right now. I really need to absorb what he just said. I just can't get it through my head. He told me that as time went by in physics he grew a liking of me. I guess that was something.. We got close (a little too close ) that sometimes I wonder what we are. It felt like we were just friends but at times we were more. He said that he distant himself from me because he felt that we were getting too close. That was so random though... how he just stops talking to me. I was really sad because it just hurt so much. Thinking back to it still hurts that's why I don't think about it. I guess I'm relief now? After awhile knowing the answer just didn't matter to me any more. Knowing that it doesn't change what we are. But in a way I'm glad he told me. I should be sorry too... I allowed all those things to happened. I'm not sorry that it happened but sorry that I could have dealt with it better.

Boring yet unexpected. My day today:
Woke up... ATE. We went to McDonald's. And randomly out of no where we decided to go to polo. I was like not expecting that. I had like no money. Mandy only paid 5 cents for the bus ride while I paid two dollars! I felt bad eating all my friends food. D: BUT I WAS SOOO HUNGRY! I want to go shopping.

BORED BORED BORED BORED BORED BORED BORED BORED BORED BORED BORED BORED BORED BORED BORED BORED BORED BORED BORED BORED BORED BORED BORED BORED BORED BORED BORED BORED BORED BORED BORED BORED BORED BORED BORED BORED BORED BORED BORED BORED BORED BORED BORED BORED BORED BORED BORED BORED BORED BORED BORED BORED BORED BORED BORED BORED BORED BORED BORED BORED BORED BORED BORED BORED BORED BORED BORED BORED BORED BORED BORED BORED BORED BORED BORED BORED BORED BORED BORED BORED BORED BORED BORED BORED BORED BORED BORED BORED BORED BORED BORED BORED BORED BORED BORED BORED BORED BORED BORED BORED BORED BORED BORED BORED BORED BORED BORED BORED BORED BORED BORED BORED BORED BORED BORED BORED BORED BORED BORED BORED BORED BORED BORED BORED BORED BORED BORED BORED BORED BORED BORED BORED BORED BORED BORED BORED BORED BORED BORED BORED BORED BORED BORED BORED BORED BORED BORED BORED BORED BORED BORED BORED BORED BORED

Didn't really do much today expect went to polo park again and Tim Hortons. Uncle was over for lunch and also help us take apart the kitchen. *sigh. Been facing that kitchen for over 16 years. Life goes on. I should have went out for a walk with dad and bro.

OMG He talked to me last night... Apparently he was at the fireworks too. I didn't see him. I guess this just goes to show that things just aren't meant to be. Like he was there, I was there.... *sigh. I was talking to my friend from B.C last night and she wants to confess to this guy. She's asking me for advice. I was never on good terms when it comes to stuff like that. They had similar conversations. Like the ones I had with him. The ironic part is that the guy she likes is also going to Seattle for vacation and so is he... ohhkay.. .. I hope it works out for her, them rather. He told me that he was on the phone last night. I wanted to ask who but I think I already know but at the same time I don't want to assume. I'm such a fool sometimes.. I swear every time I try putting him away and all those memories we had, somehow it keeps coming back. WHHYY MEEEEE?

Watching you're beautiful right now! Episode 3

Our rice from Thursday THAI EXPRESS (Y)

Been going out like everyday this week. HAHA It was fun. :D Today we were going to go to the forks but ended up going to polo park instead. Talk about luck lol the moment we went down the bus arrived. Like HOLY! Also on the way back we also just caught the bus in time as well. What a lucky bus day :) I'm glad that it's not that hot today compared to the day we went to St. Vital. That bus ride was quite torture -_-" I can still remember the heat.

Well I guess it's time to put him away. Not aside. I think I can do it this time........

There's not much to blog over summertime if I don't do anything. Everyday feels the same. Sometimes I just get too lazy. I owe my sister four dollars for food. MUST.GET.JOB

Fireworks at Tyndall last night

It's hard to understand what parents are thinking of these days. My sister like just got busted about her relationship and like right now both of my parents are against it. My mom is like saying how you should focus in school but my sister has the highest grade in her grade. My dad is just like " he can't come over" I sometimes hate how my parents are so racist. I feel bad for her. I don't know what I can do to help. I'm just like here like always ....... [present]

*sigh also at the fireworks my bro fell off the play structure and landed right on his face. ouch. Foreshadowing....

At times like this I'm glad that I'm single. Relationships sometimes are just so ugh! Problems, headaches, tears & time. Smh.

HAPPY BELATED CANADA DAY EVERYONE!