Happy birthday mom :) <3 I love you

I'm sorry we all forgot but we love you mother.

I miss my sister :( Wish she was home right now...

Even after a long journey I think I would still end up back here, this place that will always be my home. And I'm proud of it. Memories, family, laughter, joy, sadness, its all here. Sure I would travel and what not but I can't imagine myself living anywhere else other than Winnipeg city. I will forever be a mommy and daddy's girl.

Over the weekend, I was watching tv with my family and my dad just randomly said "so who made these shorts"? In junior high, my sister and I made to sew a pair of shorts as part of our final project and we gave it to daddy. I'm surprise that he wears it because he usually doesn't wear clothes we buy him. So I said "mei mei made it, I made the blue one :D" and then he said " I like them both and I would always wear them." I will forever be tie with them. Wherever I go, whenever I go.

Dad walks in and sees brother playing Ipad
Dad: Timmy, what’s our last name
Me: It’s Chan

Timmy: Chan

Little kids these days :P all they focus on is games and electronics   

You know what annoys me the most? WHEN I'm about to leave and you don't even give me your full attention for just two minutes. LIKE OKAY. I won't next time either. I give you my full attention when YOU leave.

Can't wait til i leave this city in two weeks. PCE OUT.

Have to climb across the mountain to get to the other side

I am stuck in a moment of my life where it comes down to one decision only. Yet I cannot decide because every time I make a decision I ask myself this question. Do I really want to do this for the rest of my life? Personally, I want a career that is meaningful, reflexible, yet at the same time allows me to pay my bills.  It comes down to one of these decisions

Dentistry 
Originally my first intentions about going into this faculty was because my mom wanted me to. After doing some research I realized that I am personally interested in it. It's a really high paying job. (100k+ every year) and very good work hours. I'm also able to give dental care to my family especially my parents because throughout the years they could only afford us to go see a dentist. I admit I am afraid of the work up ahead. Though I am interested I was never a really a good chemistry or physics students and those the first steps to this path. This, I can say is the main reason that's stopping me.

Respiratory Therapy
This path certainly isn't easier than the first one but it doesn't require chem or physics. I'm really interested in biology and human anatomy. If I get in I get the chance to work in the hospital. Part of this career is to specialized in respiratory and breathing. I help people recover from injuries who have trouble breathing. Without breathing there would be no life. I also get to work in the emergency room and children's and infants. Path is hard, nights shifts, and starting pay isn't as high as dentistry. Also after graduating, not a lot of people want to hire a new graduate with no experience so job is also hard to find. I

Pharmacy 
Good pay, easy to find a job, and good working hours. This job will probably be the same for the rest of the career path. Dealing drugs legally every day. Eventually I would get used to it. I want a good stable life and this career suits me the best. This career has good requirement courses and a lot of electives. I can work towards this career and at the same time take courses that interest me. (anatomy and classics)

Environmental Science
Global warming has always plague me. I'm interested in finding ways to make our world a better place to live. Another reason why I'm interested in this career path is the coop program. I get paid while I work, pay for university, and still get my degree. The courses are interesting. I also get to travel to different places and do research. This path is definitely killing two birds with one stone.

I want a career that allows me to wear a white coat. There are the choices that I need to make. Sure I don't need to completely decide on one right now but what about after my third year? fourth year? I know I won't regret any of these career choices because they all fascinate me to the extreme. Who knows, maybe I'll end up in a career path that's not related to any of these. In the future I want to pursue a masters degree at UBC and if I do go that far I want to pursue a PhD at Queens University. I also want to go on an exchange program some point in my life. I want to go to either Korea, Australia, Hong Kong, and or Europe. It would be a good life time experience. I'm also going to work towards earning an interim and I hope it can be New York City. I want to join those student volunteer groups that travel to place to help and lastly I want to go on a student service trip. Sounds far eh?

Things I still got to do over the summer

1. Look up baking recipes 2. Book my road test 3. Apply for a gym pass somewhere for the summer

Lost time is never found again.-Benjamin Franklin

graduation dinner for the night :)

Corsage ♥

will forever keep this memory 

Just finished reading Safe Haven by Nicholas Sparks and I really enjoyed it. It was a good book and I'm looking forward for the movie :D

Some quotes from the novel

I've have come to believe that in everyone's life, there's one undeniable moment of change, a set of circumstances that suddenly alters everything. 

Joy was as fleeting as a shooting star that crossed the evening sky, ready to blink out at any moment. 

Next on the list is The best of me also by Nicholas Sparks. I find his books so inspiring! Time to make another trip to chapters buwhahahhah :D in the mean time, time to focus on university for the month. No more lit until August :( or rather more lit time in August :) 

Got lost at the university of Manitoba campus. It was insanely huge >.<

Class of 2012

Gateway Brethren Church

The graduation ceremony was insanely long but insanely wonderful. It felt great yet I felt a sense of sadness singing in the grad choir because I will never be part of sisler’s choir ever again. The feeling was great. I also got an award. I was very nervous but I managed. The sensation was building up intensely inside me and I felt myself grabbing onto my graduation gown. At least I didn’t have to go up alone. Although it was very awkward standing there waiting in front of thousands of eyes. I felt happy that my family brought me flowers but to me their presence there was enough. My auntie also brought me some graduation flowers although I wasn’t home. The thought is what counts the most.

Photo-shoot

Yesterday was also the first time riding in a limo. It was cool! SWAG. We went to Assiniboine Park and the legislative building. It was fun. I enjoy taking pictures with this group of people although my feet were killing me. I am definitely not a heels person. The heat was also awful although it was manageable. 

Fairmont Hotel- The Dinner and Dance

graduation 2012

I still can't believe that I graduated yesterday and just two weeks ago I was still a student there struggling and preparing for final exams. I will miss everyone dearly. Everyone I met in high school was truly a bless and I’m glad that I met them. I couldn’t have asked for a better group of people to graduate than the group that graduated with me yesterday. The memories that I made at Sisler High will forever carry on with me and my life. I couldn’t have asked for a better high school. Looking at my diploma seems surreal and I can’t believe that four years have gone by already. I still remember the first day of high school and I will forever remember the last day. These days were the beginning and the end of a beautiful chapter of my life. I met long lasting friendships. It still feels like I’m going back there next year. I guess reality hasn’t hit me yet even though I graduated just yesterday. I can go on with this post forever because I truly cannot express the feelings that I’m feeling right now. It’s bittersweet. All I can say is thank you Sisler High School for these wonderful four years. It was truly amazing.    

CLASS OF 2012- Forever Love. 

Don't even know if I should go for it any more... #whack

Dear John Quotes

Finished reading Dear John by Nicholas Sparks and I really enjoyed it. Here are some really inspiring quotes  


If hers are stars in the nighttime sky, mine are the haunted empty spaces in between. 

Its the excitement between the tedious space, and it doesn't matter where it's directed. 

 Passion and satisfaction go hand in hand, and without them, any happiness is only temporary, because there's nothing to make it last.  

What mattered most was knowing that love was mine to give, without strings or expectations. 

Love should bring joy, it should grant a person peace, but here and now, it was only bringing pain. 

Love?

To my understanding that means pain, joy, laughter, and tears.

I wanted to say that you reply to her in the morning... I wanted to say it so badly... but I won't because these continuous arguments are getting very tiring. Very Very Very tiring. I think I'm just gonna stop from now on.

I thought I was done with his blog because you used my posts against me before in previous agreements. But today I realized how lonely I am and that my life is an endless cycle that I will always come back here. Always come back here...

Instead of recording endless moments of my life, this blog has become a good friend of mine who I can always vent to, who I can always turn to during the deepest, lowest moments 

You're the first person I told when I received my university package today and like so many other things I've said to you before it gets disregarded. #usedtoit I was so happy and enthusiastic when I got it this morning... I've been looking at the package and I have narrowed my courses down. I'm looking at taking 4 class per semester and then 3 in the spring in order to get the 30 credits for the first year. I sense some handwork but good, it will keep my focus. As of now I think I'm going to go into pre-optometry. The courses that I take for this faculty are also courses that fall into my other interested facilities; density, medicine, and science. Also those classes can also help me major in biochemistry and microbiology. What interests me is that after three years of getting my degree here I can apply to The school of Optometry at Waterloo. Well I mean I have to if I want to get a career. But its great. Just three more years. Hang tight Carmen. At this very moment I feel like nothing is really the way it is... I wouldn't say not worth staying because there will always be something/ someone here that I want to stay for but the question is; does that person want me to stay? or leaving is the best for both of us... 

You know a spark is about to die when the effect no longer longs you.  I feel that over the course of the time our love has strengthen but our communication has somewhat been lost along the way. The vows that we once perched each other has simply become a statement to heal the wounds that has been opened. Trust is lost along the way. I thought that our little exchange could be a tie that we can both have in common. But I guess not. Slowly each and every day, those ties are beginning to untie itself. And soon we would be two separate strings again each running parallel, never encountering again.  I feel as though you even lack the effort to send me a smiley face. Like you don't even want to talk. And lately I feel as though you don't even take the time to read what I send you. I feel as though you even lack the effort to sometimes even send me a good morning message like you once did. Even though you aren't actually up in the morning when sending it but the thought of it makes me so happy. The appreciation and thought makes me happy knowing that you think of me before you go to sleep because I do. I want to feel that spark again that I felt last year. The easy going conversations that we used to have. But I know that will never happen again. Time does that to a relationship...

 whiteshell provincial park

maybe I should check this place out sometime over summer. After all I've got nothing better else to do.

You know? haha yeah I don't know any more. Don't know what to think, don't know what to feel haha

Maybe... so.