Day not wasted. I feel bad wasting my day sometimes like I just sit in front of the computer or just walk around the house doing nothing. I want to go out. Do things that requires no money or not a lot of money. I don't like wasting time because time is something that you will never get back in your life. If its gone its gone, nothing else to it.

So why was my day not wasted ? BECAUSE I DID SOMETHING. What did I do today? I WENT OUT!! :P I went to Mandy's. We played monopoly, cards, went to the park, and just random games like truth or dare. One question we asked today was: what do you look for in a guy? What do I look for in a guy? I'm actually really scared to like someone at the moment. I'm scared that the same thing might happen all over again. You know history can actually repeat itself. After he said sorry to me last night I felt bad. He grew a liking for me yet he rejects me. I don't get that. I don't think I ever will and I don't want to any more. To be honest, I'm scared I might fall for him all over again. All I really look for in a guy is someone that makes me smile and will never leave me behind. I just hate it when people leave me behind or when you walk with someone they just walk in front of you. That's why I like it when I walk side by side with someone. It feels like that I'm actually there and not just some random person.

SO NOT READY

you know the saying expect the unexpected. It feels like I've been experiencing that a lot this year. Well, at least the first half of the year. I can't believe that its July. Met a great group of friends that I never thought of meeting. Everything that happened between me and him up until this very moment. It just seems so unreal to me now. I wasn't expecting that he would tell me this. I actually already let go of finding the answer because it really doesn't matter to me any more? What difference does it make if I know the answer or not? Does it really change anything that already happened? I can't think right now. I really need to absorb what he just said. I just can't get it through my head. He told me that as time went by in physics he grew a liking of me. I guess that was something.. We got close (a little too close ) that sometimes I wonder what we are. It felt like we were just friends but at times we were more. He said that he distant himself from me because he felt that we were getting too close. That was so random though... how he just stops talking to me. I was really sad because it just hurt so much. Thinking back to it still hurts that's why I don't think about it. I guess I'm relief now? After awhile knowing the answer just didn't matter to me any more. Knowing that it doesn't change what we are. But in a way I'm glad he told me. I should be sorry too... I allowed all those things to happened. I'm not sorry that it happened but sorry that I could have dealt with it better.

Boring yet unexpected. My day today:
Woke up... ATE. We went to McDonald's. And randomly out of no where we decided to go to polo. I was like not expecting that. I had like no money. Mandy only paid 5 cents for the bus ride while I paid two dollars! I felt bad eating all my friends food. D: BUT I WAS SOOO HUNGRY! I want to go shopping.

BORED BORED BORED BORED BORED BORED BORED BORED BORED BORED BORED BORED BORED BORED BORED BORED BORED BORED BORED BORED BORED BORED BORED BORED BORED BORED BORED BORED BORED BORED BORED BORED BORED BORED BORED BORED BORED BORED BORED BORED BORED BORED BORED BORED BORED BORED BORED BORED BORED BORED BORED BORED BORED BORED BORED BORED BORED BORED BORED BORED BORED BORED BORED BORED BORED BORED BORED BORED BORED BORED BORED BORED BORED BORED BORED BORED BORED BORED BORED BORED BORED BORED BORED BORED BORED BORED BORED BORED BORED BORED BORED BORED BORED BORED BORED BORED BORED BORED BORED BORED BORED BORED BORED BORED BORED BORED BORED BORED BORED BORED BORED BORED BORED BORED BORED BORED BORED BORED BORED BORED BORED BORED BORED BORED BORED BORED BORED BORED BORED BORED BORED BORED BORED BORED BORED BORED BORED BORED BORED BORED BORED BORED BORED BORED BORED BORED BORED BORED BORED BORED BORED BORED BORED BORED

Didn't really do much today expect went to polo park again and Tim Hortons. Uncle was over for lunch and also help us take apart the kitchen. *sigh. Been facing that kitchen for over 16 years. Life goes on. I should have went out for a walk with dad and bro.

OMG He talked to me last night... Apparently he was at the fireworks too. I didn't see him. I guess this just goes to show that things just aren't meant to be. Like he was there, I was there.... *sigh. I was talking to my friend from B.C last night and she wants to confess to this guy. She's asking me for advice. I was never on good terms when it comes to stuff like that. They had similar conversations. Like the ones I had with him. The ironic part is that the guy she likes is also going to Seattle for vacation and so is he... ohhkay.. .. I hope it works out for her, them rather. He told me that he was on the phone last night. I wanted to ask who but I think I already know but at the same time I don't want to assume. I'm such a fool sometimes.. I swear every time I try putting him away and all those memories we had, somehow it keeps coming back. WHHYY MEEEEE?

Watching you're beautiful right now! Episode 3

Our rice from Thursday THAI EXPRESS (Y)

Been going out like everyday this week. HAHA It was fun. :D Today we were going to go to the forks but ended up going to polo park instead. Talk about luck lol the moment we went down the bus arrived. Like HOLY! Also on the way back we also just caught the bus in time as well. What a lucky bus day :) I'm glad that it's not that hot today compared to the day we went to St. Vital. That bus ride was quite torture -_-" I can still remember the heat.

Well I guess it's time to put him away. Not aside. I think I can do it this time........

There's not much to blog over summertime if I don't do anything. Everyday feels the same. Sometimes I just get too lazy. I owe my sister four dollars for food. MUST.GET.JOB

Fireworks at Tyndall last night

It's hard to understand what parents are thinking of these days. My sister like just got busted about her relationship and like right now both of my parents are against it. My mom is like saying how you should focus in school but my sister has the highest grade in her grade. My dad is just like " he can't come over" I sometimes hate how my parents are so racist. I feel bad for her. I don't know what I can do to help. I'm just like here like always ....... [present]

*sigh also at the fireworks my bro fell off the play structure and landed right on his face. ouch. Foreshadowing....

At times like this I'm glad that I'm single. Relationships sometimes are just so ugh! Problems, headaches, tears & time. Smh.

HAPPY BELATED CANADA DAY EVERYONE!

Yesterday was fun. LOL we kind of celebrated Mandy's grad. I invited her over to my place along with Jeff and Jessica. Highlight of yesterday was playing mahjong and me and Jeff winning (Y) Jessica and Mandy had to kiss my Aaron Yan poster LOL talk about awkward LOOOOL Also had fun taking pictures lol

Went to St.Vital yesterday with Cousin, sister and Jhemily. LOL Didn't really buy anything but OMG around like one year ago we were at St.Vital as well and we were eating at the food court and some guy came over and talked to us. Well yesterday that same guy came and talked to us again only like one year later. Same location lol the food court. LIKE OMGGG IS that fate ? LOL We don't even know him. I really like his friendly approaches. BUT AS IF!!

HAPPPY CANADA DAY!!! 
Pretty good day with fam today. Too bad mother had work D: We coulda gone to the beach instead. LOL anyhow I had fun :D we went to assiniboine park and we got to ride on the train. IT WAS FUN! :) I'm never too old for that. You needed an adult thats over 16. My sister told that dude that but he didn't seem convince that I was over 16.. okhhayy then.. lol :P After we went for ice-cream and milkshakes at BDI <333 

HAPPY CANADA DAY EVERYONE!

ohhkay weird. Just weird. The minute I posted my last entry he messaged me on msn... OHHKAY that is just REALLY REALLLY weird.. like OMMGG Just weird......

It's gonna be a long/ exciting day tomorrow :)))) In the morning going to st.vital with cousin, sister and Jhemily. My friends are coming after!!! YAYA

Playing UNO with Jeff right now LOL

My DAD!!

I seriously think my dad is over protective sometimes! It was funny/awkward last night. After I came home my sister told me that my dad was walking around the living room holding a hockey stick. I find that quite funny. LOL Like I can totally see him doing that LMAO  :P Also I can't stay out past 10 now. (sad life) and I have to leave the phone number to that person's house I'm going too. Next time if I go to the movies past 10 he is going to join us and sit in the back row. That is somewhat awkward... BUT funny the way my mom said it!!

So apparently I got an award. Two actually. I seriously think Sisler hates me LOL Like they never ever call me!! Like two years in a row. I find that funny too. I never show up for it :P xDD

It's so nice out today and I'm stuck inside. Going to go out tomorrow with cousin. Last hangout with her before she heads for New York for the rest of the summer. My friend Trisha is also going on her trip today. I hope they both have safe trips.

I wonder how's he doing lately. He still comes across my mind once in awhile. I seriously don't think I'll ever understand him.. At this point it doesn't really matters any more. I don't even know what happened but I accept it. It's like... I don't even know what its like. I can't put it into words. So yea, I like the way my life is right now minus the things that I still cannot decide on. Life is simple. Even though those times with him was really something but I know it won't last long. It was never meant to last or start. Things will get better. If it doesn't get better than its not the end. We don't talk any more but I admit even if we don't talk I still think about him. But I think everything is ohhkay now? I don't even want to think about it any more. I'm just gonna live life. PEACE :)

Random last minute plans with friends yesterday and it was awesome! We went to Tyndall and we just sat and talked there. After we went to my place well my yard.. LOL

So last night we went out to watch x-men at 10:00pm. IT WAS AWESOME!! I mean going out so late. Driving around the streets at night with so little traffic. Its cool 8) It might be my first and last time D: My dad stayed up waiting for me last night. I felt bad... D: The movie was pretty interesting I must say. It's not a movie that I would watch though but there is a first time for everything. I actually thought it was interesting. Too bad I had to wake up early this morning to go get my report card / check my time table. My marks weren't bad. I'm surprised that I pass chemistry!! :D But I went down in English D: SO SAD!!! Makes my report card look bad. I actually kinda like my schedule next year. It's somewhat hardcore but I think I can handle it if I time manage it well. ( which I don't) but I shall try. I want to fill in my random spare in second semester and switch physics to enriched. Then it would be a good schedule :)

Possible time table right now
Semester one:
Pre-calculus
Chemistry
Pre-calculus/ Gym
English

Semester 2:
Spare. ( wanna fill it )
Calculus ( as if I got this class -_- )
Trans Focus English
Physics ( want to switch to enriched)

And of course. Choir the entire year :D

WHAT A SUPER DUPER BORING DAY

I kind of have a headache from sleeping too late last night. ): Oh well. But I woke up at 12 this morning. Honestly I wish my brother would be quiet in the morning. It's so fricken annoying. My parents went to superstore this morning so I was home alone with sister. All I did was practice piano. After that I watched into thin air on tv. Why is my life so boring? D: I have like no direction in life. I never know what I want. It's like I want to do something but at the same time I don't. I want to finish this stupid swimming redo but at the same time I'm lazy. I want to take AP chemistry but at the same time I don't. I want to talk to him but at the same time I don't. I want to ask him if he is still at his weird point in his life but at the same time I'm scared to know. I'm always so undecided. I always drag everything because I can't seem to decide on anything. Sometimes when I'm shopping it's like I want to buy this shirt but at the same time I don't. I'm always scared that I might make the wrong decision. Like once in physics class he had two go cards and he told me that if I guess which one is his I can have it. It took me literally the entire class. He said even if I'm wrong I can still have it. He even asked me "why are you so scared?" I don't even know. It's like I'm scared but I'm not. My life is so complex yet so simple.

day 8 without you

I am tired. I should sleep but why am I still waiting? Why can't I just accept reality? I don't know why but I missing you a lot today. Maybe it's because now that school is over I have way too much time in hand. It's raining right now. I wonder what you are doing. I wonder if you ever think of me the way I think of you. I just miss you lots right now. I feel like a loser. I should really just stop thinking about it. JHEEZ why are you so hard to forget?

I don't know what to do tomorrow. *sigh OHHH brought daddy a belated birthday gift. Officially poor now D:

roaming around downtown

this was basically my day! LOL In the morning we went to home depot.

Saranghae

“Life is so sad. It’s full of heartbreaks like this. But, I don’t regret a thing; that I met you, that I fell in love with you. If I were to meet you again, even knowing such sadness awaits me, I’d definitely fall in love with you again.” – Mayu

I just finishing watching secret garden. LOL it was such a good drama. OMG I cried watching episode 17 and 18. It was just too sad ): Although the mom was quite annoying in the drama -_-" Happy ending though :) except for that dude :P It was a really fun drama to watch though. I'm going to watch love buffet next. AARON YAN HERE I COME <3

The last few episodes really inspired me. It takes a lot to met that special someone. That right person. I wonder if I met him yet.....

So basically I slept half my day away. Slept at 1 last night and woke up at around 12. I only woke up because I was hungry. And then I practice piano for a bit. Learnt half the song already. I'm getting there :) didn't even know my sister's boyfriend was over.

Petting zoo at the ex!

Good old times in physics