I'm so happy today I don't even know why. I miss the feeling of happiness. The feeling that you get when everything just seems so fine and the outside is so beautiful. Life is great. The feeling you get when you feel so free. Being able to wake up look outside the window and smile. That feeling is GREAT! (y) Next time when I'm feeling down I wanna remember this feeling of happiness. What makes me happy? ( ICE CREAM) I don't know what makes me happy. It's just a feeling that I get usually with people I care about or when I do something that I'm satisfied with. OR when something unexpected happens. I'm like those typical girls lol. I like surprises, teddy bears, roses, cards and chocolate. I really want cash at the moment.. I WANT THAT JACKET

MY ICE CREAM LOVE

They make my day <3 

hello today

LOL didn't do much like yesterday but I don't know why I'm happy today :D So I woke up at like 12 today (y) I would have continued sleeping but my mom gets pissed at me LOL. I attempted to curl my hair today HAHA! It didn't go too bad but I was scared I was gonna burn my face because that's what happened to my sister :S I put on gloves (y) After that spent some time watching tv with bro. I miss Spongebob Squarepants!!!! And then I watched My Princess episode 3 & 4. I'm not going hardcore now on dramas. LOL yea... I wish  I was a princess LOL ! I wanna marry a Prince JAYKAAY! HAHA 


Listening to 0330 at the moment. I really love the song. <3333 


HMMM I should go driving later.

LOL THIS IS KINDA OLD 
"Isn't he just amazing? wearing 3D glasses yo! enjoying semester break xD" 
And my sister said " *SHE. gosh. :( "
SO I SAID "IT" 

Secret Garden

hyun bin is wayyy toooo cute here :) this video is making my day

everyday is a boring day. HOW SAD ):

I cannot spend the rest of my summer like this. IT'S TOOO TRAGIC ): WAY TOOOO TRAGIC. Its like I have no motivation whatsoever. There's nothing to look forward to everyday because knowing that tomorrow will the same as today. At the same time I enjoy this feeling knowing that there's no work for me to get done. I actually miss school. I miss seeing my classmates that makes me laugh, rushing to finish homework over the lunch hour and waiting for the bell to ring at 3:30. I'm actually not that motivated over school. Like I go to my classes only to question why I'm there and when will I ever use all this knowledge in my life. The only thing I actually find useful is English BECAUSE I'M IN CANADA!!.. Honestly the things we learn in pre-calculus.. It's fun but will I ever use it? Yet another beautiful day wasted. How sad. I'm wasting time that I will never get back in my life. It's not like I don't want to do something its that there's nothing to do. Perhaps I should start playing piano again. I haven't touch my keyboard for over three weeks. I still want to learn Kiss the Rain. 


Ohkay, after today I will do something. ANYTHING! Will not waste life away. Or sit in front of the computer all day. Will find reasons to look forward to.   

DEAR FRIEND

I care about you but I honestly don't give good relationship advice. IF I had good advice I would have used it LOOOL! I never know how to respond to you. I'm so sorry. Kay like I don't even know the guy and plus you're in B.C. WELL both of you guys. I can't give opinion on that. I don't know like if you ask me a chemistry question I might actually be able to help BUT relationships. I was never on good terms so like eh yea. I'm not much help but when you really ask for my opinion .... D: I rather regret telling than not telling at all because if you don't tell than the answer will be forever unknown. That is the only advice I can give. I kinda used it myself. I still don't think what happened between us was a mistake. I just don't get how everyone found out besides the people that I told. Like even my grade 9 friends know and I didn't tell them anything. "we"still come up from time to time. It's always going to be there now. *sigh. I don't know. I don't really feel anything towards him any more except random mixed feelings. ERR does that count as something then? SCREW IT! Going on youtube. BYE  
* I want a TEDDY BEAR ):

I actually sometimes wonder if I actually like you. *sigh I never know when I really like someone. I just can't see myself committed. I rather not start. But I have to admit I do kinda miss you. KAY YEA I suck. GOODBYE 

OHKAY Pretty good day today. Simple just the way I like it. Woke up this morning and killed that FLY ! HHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH WHAT NOW ! I TOLD YA ! :D ANYWAY When I was killing it I was another bug FRICK! EWWW ITS GROSS!! I HATE BUGS!! Went to the library with Andrew, Jessica, Mayanne. Sister walked me there but left. We sat there and played well read rather I spy for like over an hour. It was fun. Brings back good childhood memories. Although I wasn't much help LOL. I'm never much help. That's just me. Like I want to help but I don't know what to do and at the same time I'm scared I might cause even more trouble. I want to help parents do the dishes but like kay they yell at me to do it and I do it and then they say I do a bad job of it so they end up doing it themself and the cycle repeats again. I think I should just get myself in trouble just so they let me do the dishes. I feel less guilty. UGGH!! MUST FACE FEARS. NOT. I RATHER NOT. I realized that I don't like changes.... even though not all changes are bad but I'm afraid of changes, I'm a loser. The End.


I can't understand myself sometimes. I'm kinda bipolar... :S UGH KAY NVM that just makes me sound like a creep. KAYY ERRR I DON'T KNOW. This is what I mean, I don't know! I NEVER KNOW. You know what? I should just change my blog title to " I don't know" since I don't know. I don't even know what I don't know.

Kawaii Crepe

Me and Mayanne's Bubble tea. The only thing we brought during the entire day :P

I'M FEELING GREAT

kay well maybe not great but feeling a lot better than last night. Like a lot lot better. So yea went to St.Vital yesterday with Jessica, Mayanne, Helen, Helen, Peggy and Amy. It was pretty fun! I wasn't really in the shopping mood ): So yea didn't really do anything there except sit at every bench while they shop.. There is always next time but it was fun though. We also went to Kawaii Crepe. I brought green apple bubble tea. I miss the ones in Toronto D: After that we bus back home and I went straight to bed. Slept from 6 to 6. GRRR Hate how I always wake up randomly! Annoying. That's why I can never sleep long even if I really wanted to.

After a good rest I feel fine now. :D Went to grant park because sister broke her retainers again LOL! HEHEHEHE After we stayed at polo for a bit. Would have stayed longer but brother kept begging to go home -___- I figure I only like the jackets at Aritzia. I must get a job ):  LOL I kept prank calling my mom using my ipod. IT WAS FUNNY! She was watching her dramas and I kept calling her. IT WAS FUN. But then she found out it was me.!! HEHEHEHEHE

I don't even know why I was so sad last night. I just felt really sad :( well I'm going out later so hopefully that cheers me up. I don't really like telling people my problems because I don't want them worrying about me. I only tell them when I desperately need someone to talk to. Why can't I live near a ocean? One day I wanna do those message in a bottle thingys but I think that's considered littering. I don't know I mean I'm always scared to open up to people even to some of my closest friends. I feel so weak sometimes but it's easier than being strong. Im always scared that people will leave me maybe that's why I choose to leave first. You know every time I like someone they always either a) doesn't like me back b) likes someone else c) or ends up moving to a different school. Ohkay whatever screw that -_-" and one day I will go to Alaska. 

Honestly just stop please. You think you guys are stressed out? Well so am I ! Why can't you just look at it from from our side. Just once and see how it is. You say I stay in the house all day so i go out. I stay out a bit late and you yell at me. I'm just doing what you want me to do. You don't want me in the house I leave. At least stop stepping down on us. Like we have feelings too :( don't just assume. Try and understand first

One day I will be free from everyone and everything. And I can express my own thoughts without having someone stepping down on it. I will find someone that appreciates my existence. 

Top three things I hate the most in my life :
1: people yelling at me
2: people leaving me behind 
3: people taking me for granted 

*random picture off google. 
*sigh how I wish I was there right now. Away from everything. Something seems to be bothering me right now but I don't know what it is. Maybe I'm just tired.

BORED AND I DON'T WANT TO SLEEP

SO I SHALL MAKE A LIST. RANDOM LIST OF RANDOM THINGS I WANNA DO ATM

• GO to Alaska 
• hiking & fishing
• shopping
• sit on a deck with a laptop and hot chocolate
• EAT ICE CREAM hehehehe
• Look at the stars 
• Sit on a swing set and think (daddy brought one )
• I actually really want to sing atm
• wish it would snow 

I think the sky looks really pretty when it snows. 

WHAT A SUPER DUPER BORING DAYYY!!

I didn't do anything today ): SAD LIFE OH WELL Today I don't feel like doing anything so WHATEVER! *sigh. SO like I have nothing to talk about... SO ER BYE? It feels like I'm wasting my day away. I'm so lazy, inactive and I sit in front of the computer ALLL DAYYY!! LIFELESS I should have just went to New York with my cousins. OH WELL!

I wonder where he is right now.

I AM SO TIRED. SLEPT AT 4AM LAST NIGHT BUT I DON'T CARE! Minus the radiation part that's killing my eyes :S One day I will pull an all nighter. I'm just saying. Hmm what to do today. Might go out later with dad and watch a movie. Right now I am going to finish You're Beautiful <333

Sooooooooooooooooo tired

But I don't want to sleep yet. I seem to be blogging a lot but I guess this is better than ranting it out on someone. I hate it when people take out their anger on you. I just don't think anyone deserves to be treated like that. Just because you're mad doesn't give you the right to ruin someone else's day. Go punch a pillow or something. Or drive to a pond/lake and yell all your anger away! (since Winnipeg has no oceans)

I don't mind listening to others rant.

Omg give me a break please. I just wanna smack someone in the face right now -_- I can't do anything to make you better or say. I can't say I fully understand what you're going through because I never lost someone I love. But I don't know what to say/do. I just feel helpless and reply with the same reply. We know you're going through a hard time but always thinking about it and crying won't change anything. I'm sure if she sees you right now she would want you to be happy and live a good life. Why are you so tunnel vision? There is more than one way to a solution. Why can't you look at it from a different side. Instead of crying why don't you be happy for her. I'm pretty sure she wants to see you smile. I do too. But maybe this is all just me. My mind is pretty simple but I just don't see why people have to
make things complicated. Just like in math there is more than one way to solve a problem but it all depends on how you look at it and how you approach it. 

Talking to my friend Daniel at the moment. Currently he's outside. I wanna be outside too right now. Just away from everything and everyone. I want to look at the stars and just stare at the sky. I don't care if there are mosquitoes or flies. I sometimes love the night. I love how everything is so still and silent. How I wish life can be like that sometimes. All I ever wanted was a simple life that is all. I keep getting dragged into things. OMG like the printer thing. My dad thought I broke it just because it was in my room. I didn't even use it last. I helped fixing it but just got dragged into it for that. Last time I helped my friend transferred a message and she got mad at me for that. WHAT THE HECK. I'm just helping! Sometimes I feel like a burden to others. I want to help but I tend to make things worst. I'm always giving trouble to people. Like one morning I had a physics test that day and my sister was helping me the last minute. I should have asked earlier. I hate how I'm like that sometimes. Maybe I should just do nothing but then again I'm already doing nothing. Doing nothing achieving nothing. I admit I get decent grades (except English) but I always feel like that's not enough. I know I could do so much better but how come I'm not doing it? I'm not pushing myself hard enough. I don't get myself. I never know what I really want. I wonder if anyone actually reads my BLOG lol I told 3 of my friends but it was quite sometime ago. I wonder if he still reads it. 


I honestly just don't get people right now. Kay like why are you telling me he's not responding to your text? I can't do anything about it. It's not that I don't care about you but every single time he doesn't respond you tell me well us rather. What can I do for you? Like really.. tell me. If I can do it I will do it for you because I really consider us good friends and as a friend I do care about you. But sometimes you just go over my limit. I can only do so much for anyone. I was gonna say you should give him some personal space and stop texting him for a day but like yea no. I don't give good advice or when I do it doesn't go too well :S I don't even wanna think about it any more. Tonight is just a night where I really just don't care any more.  GOOD NIGHT 

*sigh I hate how I'm not even part of something but I ended up being part of it just because that person said "we"... LIKE OMMGGG SO ANNOYED WHY DOES SHE ALWAYS HAVE TO MAKE A BIG DEAL OUT OF EVERYTHINGG!!!! AND DRAGGING ME INTO IT!! WHAT THE F*** LIKE HONESTLY STOP DOING THAT. EVERY SINGLE TIME. FRICK. Like I don't even talk about them like really? YOU'RE THE ONE SHOVING YOUR PHONE IN OUR FACE! I'm not the one saying "they look cute together" and stuff like that. I JUST AGREE TO YOU!! LIKE HONESTLY WHAT DO YOU WANT ME TO SAY!!!!!!!!!!! WHY CAN'T YOU JUST LEAVE THEM ALONE AND LET THEM BE! INSTEAD OF SAYING THE SAME THING EVERY SINGLE DAY! LIKE HONESTLY DO YOU HAVE TO TALK ABOUT IT 24/7 ON MSN. KAY LIKE I GET THE FRICKEN POINT. You don't have to repeat yourself EVERY SINGLE DAY! I GET IT. OMFG!!! I didn't know that agreeing to things you know makes ME part of it. JHEEZZZZ THANK YOU! ... AND YOU TWEET ABOUT IT TOO ! LIKE REALLLYYYYYYYYYYY

My day today was pretty great until now.. JHEEZZ I don't even know why she's telling us this. I'm so tempted to say " we don't even talk about them". I'm not even joking. Anyway, went to the gym today to exercise. Me and Jessica did mile run and it wasn't too bad :) I think I pulled a muscle though. IT WAS PAIN. We played badminton and basketball. YEAH JESSICA is pro at basketball :P It was fun. Good day. Just finished watching you're beautiful episode 12. Was gonna watch 3 eps but not in the mood any more. So apparently he's going on his trip tomorrow. I hope he has a safe trip. He's leaving in seven hours. In seven hours he will actually be distant from me.