I cannot see! It's so blurry right now. I'm not even going to lie frick! My glasses fricken fell apart ahah... It was always loose I just never thought that it would actually come off. My friend J.C was trying to fix it for me once in physics class. Stupid glasses -_-"

Going to watch Harry Potter with friends later LOL! I slept at like 4am last night. It was cool 8) I actually really like staying up hahah I just get pissed off when my parents makes me close the computer at like 11.. kay during school they make me go off at 11 and now its summer and they still make me go off at 11. LIKE WTF.... hahahha! I'd rather go on during school then. At least I can use English as an excuse (y) They are kill joys!!

KAY MAN! FRICK!!!!!!!! I can't SEEE!!!!! :'(

WHAT TO DO? OMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMG!

Kay like I don't mind you talking to me about him but honestly please don't ask me for relationship advice!! Like really don't... Like when people ask you "should I tell him" I DON'T KNOW!! I don't even know what's happening between you two!!!! AND now I'm just stressing over at what I should say!! SOMEONE HELP ME HELP HER! OMFG! At least she actually takes some of my advice/ ideas unlike some people. You help them but they just contradict at what you say.. And then it just gets annoying from there... no offence..

Ohkay so she just asked me again " should I do it?" OMG I DON'T KNOW! Instead of me deciding I just flipped a coin and let the coin decide. I'm so smart sometimes!! JAYKAAY! LOL ohkaay it's better than me deciding I mean that could like hours... Okhay at this point I don't even know what I'm saying to her. Oh dang... I'm just going with the flow.

no reason at all

LOL It's actually less windy now. Should I go for a walk? I actually didn't talk about what I did today ( not that anyone cares about my life hahahah) So my day was actually pretty simple yet I was happy. I'm not that complicated.. I just never know what I want but one day I will find out if not today. My sleeping pattern is starting to get messed up. I sleep at like 2 or 3 at the latest and I wake up at like 12 or 1. It feels like I'm over sleeping myself. I mean there are so many other things that I can be doing instead of sleeping. Although I like the fact that when you sleep all your worries are like gone. At least they are gone while you're sleeping. So I actually made an effort to exercise today (y) It felt great no joke. I feel accomplished. I also practiced piano a bit too. I really want to learn kiss the rain. I haven't even been watching my dramas lately. What is up with me? I also went to the library with sister today. I swear one day we're going to die like that always running across the streets. TOUCH WOOD TOUCH WOOD!~ So yup my day today. Tomorrow I'm going to wake up early and read outside. I don't even know what the plans are for tomorrow.. :S One day I will watch the sunrise. I will. I really will. I also realized something today hahaha. I was talking to him earlier and he kind of stop talking.. and I realized that it doesn't even bother me at all. I mean like back then I would be like "why did he stop talking" and panic and stuff like that. But now yea.. I feel neutral. I pretty sure I'm over him now maybe not 100% completely but I know now. I really do. I wonder when this cycle is going to start again. Guys that I like either a) moves away b) doesn't like me back or c) have a "thing" with me and then moves on to someone else. Its always like that. The outcome is always the same. My life is like a ferris wheel. It keeps going in circles and no matter how hard I try to run I will always end up in the same place.

Enjoy today. Face whatever is tomorrow. PCE.

If you never try you never know.

I actually don't like getting to know someone too well and letting someone know me too well. It's like once you get close to someone and know what type of person they really are you start to see a totally different side of that person. Sometimes that can be good and sometimes it can be bad. I don't really like letting people knowing too much about me. If you really know me I'm actually not as nice as everyone think I am. I am not smart whatsoever so stop assuming that just because my sister is in accelerated. I get that a lot. I am a spaz. I sometimes get mad over the very littlest things or happy depending on what the situation is. I sleep in a weird way too. If you pissed me off chances are I will annoy you back just for the sake of it. I forgive easily. It's real hard for me to let go of things. I can be real rude sometimes. I am socially awkward. I am boring and I am definitely not someone that someone wants to talk to daily. I hate it when people brings up something from my past. I trust people easily but I usually end up regretting it because they end up telling everyone. Or they said I only told blah blah blah but that person tells someone else and it ends up being not so secret anymore. I find reading boring to be honest. I never know what to say. I tend to run away from all of my problems. I will stop now. Running away won't solve anything. I think it's time for me to actually face everything that I've been running away from. If you never try you never know.

I wish people would stop leaving me. I don’t want you to leave. Last night I came across something and I don’t think it was meant for me to come across it but I did. I can’t get over it now. I know it doesn’t really have anything to do with me but I seriously don’t want you to leave. I don’t like him that way but I can’t deny the fact that I do have a slight affection towards him. But why do you have to leave? I don’t want to ask because if you want to tell me you will and I will wait. It makes me sad to even think about you not being here. You probably don’t know that but you really have a way of bringing happiness to people. I know you probably don’t think about it that way but you are someone to me and I honestly wish for us to stay connected for as long as possible but you might leave…. If anything I don’t want that at all. The things we said we’re going to do… Is it not going to happen anymore? Why does everyone keep leaving? I feel so empty right now. Please don’t leave. Please. You are not the first to leave me. In grade one I met a friend and her name is Elena and she moved schools. She was like my first friend. I met her because I was alone during recess kicking rocks like a loner and then she came over to play with me. She moved schools. In grade 2 I met another friend and her name is Carly. She invited me to her birthday party. It was the first party I went to and I was happy. I remember in grade 2 I had the chicken pox and couldn’t go to school for one week. When I came back people were afraid to sit beside me (whatever) but she still sat beside me. I was happy. But then she moved away. Also in grade 2 I had this tiny crush on this guy name Jalen but then he moved to Vancouver or something. Finally in grade 3 I met Mayanne. Up until this point we are still friends and I am so thankful for that. Including our grade 12 year we’ve been friends for 10 years. Also in grade 3 I liked this guy but he goes to some random school now west kildonan I think. In grade 5 I met another girl and her name is Anita but then she moved to B.C. Grade 7 now I liked this guy for two years but after graduation he went to Tec Voc. In grade 9 I was in an all-girls class so yea. In grade 10 first semester I met this guy in my drafting class but later on he also moved to Tec. In second semester I met another guy in my biology class but later on he also stop talking to me because he went for someone else. Grade 11 now second semester I met him and once again like grade 10 he left me for someone else. I’m honestly so tired of everyone just leaving. I don’t like the feeling of emptiness. And in one and a half month will be grade 12 and you might leave. You don’t know how much I don’t want you to leave. For once just once I wish people would stop leaving me. I can’t prevent things from happening or prevent things from ending. I’m always just a bystander. Always. ):

Listening to the sound of wind 

Tonight is just one of those nights where you can't sleep & thoughts just keeps flowing to you. I haven't really been on good terms lately ... You know what annoys the shit out of me? When people assume that you know something or expects you to do something. That just really annoys me... Or when people think they know all that but in reality its actually wrong. I find that funny but w/e. I don't care. As long as someone doesn't cross my line it's all good. I don't think I'm that hard to get along with. I know I'm boring but yea.... 

I was out earlier for a walk with friends. It was awkward in a way. I was waiting for Jeff & Aaron to come and I waited with Daniel & his girlfriend. That was awkward I felt like a third wheeler. Oh wait I was... & so I pretended to watch kids play on the play structure. Yea.. Times like that I wish I had a boyfriend. Someone that wants to take walks with me at night. My relationship life is messed up. It just never works out. Already knowing the outcome makes me not want to like anyone since I know how it's gonna end anyway. But I still fall for people even though I already know the outcome but it hurts more every time. Times like that you just can't hide your feelings even if you already know the outcome. #reality

Goals for the rest of summer:
- Exercise. Not get lazy even if it's just 10 minutes a day. Get up early & go jogging/swimming. I really want to see the sunrise!
- Practice piano again.
- Read at least two books
- Go to all the places I want to go to this summer


So today I realized how lazy I am. I envy my little bro! He always seems to have so much energy in him while I'm just a lazy bum. I feel ashamed so I must get back into a healthy life style instead of eating ice cream when I'm bored. When I'm bored from now on I shall jog or play piano. I actually don't want to sit in front of my computer everyday either. It feels like my eyes are getting worst. Am I too Asian? or behind in this society? It feels like I am. When my friends talk about pretty little liars or degrassi I have no idea what they are talking about. I mean I heard of the show but I never really watched it and to be honest I'm not really all that interested.. Should I start? Because when they talk about people and I ask "who's that" my friend would say "WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN?" and then I would feel like an idiot.... It feels like I should know but I don't. *sigh what to do.. I highly doubt I'm going to do anything. Like I think about doing things but I usually end up not doing it. That's just me and I should really change that. Life is too short to not take any risks. I'd rather regret doing something than missing the chance and not trying it at all.


Spent a good amount of time today on Tumblr. It seems like I'm on Tumblr everyday now! I even updated my theme and such..

Listening to this song at the moment

So my friend told me that he's learning it so I decided to youtube it up and I really like the lyrics. It's really catchy too! The lyrics are quite meaningful to me in a way. "I've waited all my life to cross this line. To the only thing that's true." ♥ 

p.s I will not turn back. I'm only going to look forward now. 

Our Bubble Tea <3 

WHY IS WINNIPEG SO HOT? When I grow up ( k should stop saying that. I think I am old already) Later on in my life I want to spend some time in B.C where I can actually do some of the things I want. Like wake up in the morning and bike near an ocean or go hiking. I want to go somewhere tall where I can see the sunset or sunrise. I think I have a better chance with seeing the sunset since I'm not a morning person.. 


Today was pretty good. My sister and I took the bus and then we transferred to a different bus and both rides we only waited for less than two minutes. One bus had a/c and the other one didn't. I felt bad for the bus driver driving with no a/c. It must suck! LOL So we sneak in bubble tea LOL well I did rather .... haha! When we went in we had the whole theatre to ourselves. It was awesome until people starting coming in.. HEHEH we went from theatre to theatre and a lot of them were empty. We just like sat there for a few minutes and then move on. It was great. 


I feel like a stalker... I still check up on his photos posted on facebook. I honestly pretty sure I don't feel that way towards him any more.. AM I becoming a stalker now? DDD: Don't think Don't think Don't think. I actually don't even think about him any more lol Although I may have taken the wrong road I'm sure I'm going to find the right one soon. Sometimes in order to get to the right road you got to take the wrong one first. But sometimes all guys seem the same to me. They're all hard to understand and they never seem to put you into consideration. They're all the same!.. Or maybe I'm just being bias right now. I want someone to prove that they are different. Someone that's willing to make an effort to talk to me and not talk to me just because they're bored. I want someone that's wiling to talk to me even when we run out of things to say. I'm not really asking for a lot..... Am I? I expect too much that sometimes it only brings disappointment to myself. 

I didn't do anything today. How relaxing. I like life.


So today I started watching Harry Potter. OMG I think I watched it before during school. I'm pretty sure I did because it looks so familiar. I was going to continue watching but that fricken site said " you already watched blah blah blah minutes please wait or make a free account" something along those lines. How annoying. So yup that's my day basically. How lame. I was on tumblr and I came across this blog and it was amazing. All the reblogs are like places all over the world. I realized how beautiful this world is and that I shouldn't give up so easily. Maybe one day I will be able to go to all those places. Life is too short to be unhappy. We should always be happy. Whatever the reason is that causes you to be unhappy just don't think about it. Eventually things will work out. If it doesn't work out than it is not the end. Our world is actually a really beautiful place to be including Winnipeg.


I wonder if he's back from his trip yet. He told me he was going for a week and it's been over a week. Not that I care or anything... It doesn't make much of a difference for me now if he's here or not. Even if he comes back the first person he wants to talk to is probably not me. It might have been back then but now at this point I know it's not. And you know what? I'm fine with it. I guess it just doesn't really matter to me any more. I sometimes wonder if I still like him. I never know. At this point I don't think I do. I don't even think of him the way I used to. I guess it's really forgive and forget......

I was lazy to blog last night and I still am but I am making an effort. Yesterday was so long ago I don't even remember what I did. Anyway so yesterday I went to Tim Hortons with sister and then we went to the library to print out some forms which was quite complicated.. DANG! The process of printing at a public library.. I don't even want to talk about it. BUT OMG we found out that there are more than one floor to that library. LIKE OMGG!! IT'S SO DOPE!! I like the design. Going to the library makes me miss school. When school starts again I will definitely go there and study (y) After that we chilled at city place for awhile just to enjoy their free wifi. After that I went to Concert Hall and waited for Jeff and Mandy. We went to see Battle of the Bands and Aaron was there! SO yea that was a fun experience. Because if I didn't know someone there I would probably never go to something like that so yea I enjoyed it.


Today was a fun day too. Went to Mandy's house.  I always feel so lazy to do anythinggg... Just wanna lay in my bed alll daayyy And oh yea so much for going swimming this morning. It was a fail. HAHA Woke up at like 11 ish. Made food and then went outside. My dad brought a new swing thingy so I was outside on that thing for some time. Almost feel asleep but yea.. (afraid of the mosquitoes)

I'm so happy today I don't even know why. I miss the feeling of happiness. The feeling that you get when everything just seems so fine and the outside is so beautiful. Life is great. The feeling you get when you feel so free. Being able to wake up look outside the window and smile. That feeling is GREAT! (y) Next time when I'm feeling down I wanna remember this feeling of happiness. What makes me happy? ( ICE CREAM) I don't know what makes me happy. It's just a feeling that I get usually with people I care about or when I do something that I'm satisfied with. OR when something unexpected happens. I'm like those typical girls lol. I like surprises, teddy bears, roses, cards and chocolate. I really want cash at the moment.. I WANT THAT JACKET

MY ICE CREAM LOVE

They make my day <3 

hello today

LOL didn't do much like yesterday but I don't know why I'm happy today :D So I woke up at like 12 today (y) I would have continued sleeping but my mom gets pissed at me LOL. I attempted to curl my hair today HAHA! It didn't go too bad but I was scared I was gonna burn my face because that's what happened to my sister :S I put on gloves (y) After that spent some time watching tv with bro. I miss Spongebob Squarepants!!!! And then I watched My Princess episode 3 & 4. I'm not going hardcore now on dramas. LOL yea... I wish  I was a princess LOL ! I wanna marry a Prince JAYKAAY! HAHA 


Listening to 0330 at the moment. I really love the song. <3333 


HMMM I should go driving later.

LOL THIS IS KINDA OLD 
"Isn't he just amazing? wearing 3D glasses yo! enjoying semester break xD" 
And my sister said " *SHE. gosh. :( "
SO I SAID "IT" 

Secret Garden

hyun bin is wayyy toooo cute here :) this video is making my day

everyday is a boring day. HOW SAD ):

I cannot spend the rest of my summer like this. IT'S TOOO TRAGIC ): WAY TOOOO TRAGIC. Its like I have no motivation whatsoever. There's nothing to look forward to everyday because knowing that tomorrow will the same as today. At the same time I enjoy this feeling knowing that there's no work for me to get done. I actually miss school. I miss seeing my classmates that makes me laugh, rushing to finish homework over the lunch hour and waiting for the bell to ring at 3:30. I'm actually not that motivated over school. Like I go to my classes only to question why I'm there and when will I ever use all this knowledge in my life. The only thing I actually find useful is English BECAUSE I'M IN CANADA!!.. Honestly the things we learn in pre-calculus.. It's fun but will I ever use it? Yet another beautiful day wasted. How sad. I'm wasting time that I will never get back in my life. It's not like I don't want to do something its that there's nothing to do. Perhaps I should start playing piano again. I haven't touch my keyboard for over three weeks. I still want to learn Kiss the Rain. 


Ohkay, after today I will do something. ANYTHING! Will not waste life away. Or sit in front of the computer all day. Will find reasons to look forward to.   

DEAR FRIEND

I care about you but I honestly don't give good relationship advice. IF I had good advice I would have used it LOOOL! I never know how to respond to you. I'm so sorry. Kay like I don't even know the guy and plus you're in B.C. WELL both of you guys. I can't give opinion on that. I don't know like if you ask me a chemistry question I might actually be able to help BUT relationships. I was never on good terms so like eh yea. I'm not much help but when you really ask for my opinion .... D: I rather regret telling than not telling at all because if you don't tell than the answer will be forever unknown. That is the only advice I can give. I kinda used it myself. I still don't think what happened between us was a mistake. I just don't get how everyone found out besides the people that I told. Like even my grade 9 friends know and I didn't tell them anything. "we"still come up from time to time. It's always going to be there now. *sigh. I don't know. I don't really feel anything towards him any more except random mixed feelings. ERR does that count as something then? SCREW IT! Going on youtube. BYE  
* I want a TEDDY BEAR ):

I actually sometimes wonder if I actually like you. *sigh I never know when I really like someone. I just can't see myself committed. I rather not start. But I have to admit I do kinda miss you. KAY YEA I suck. GOODBYE 

OHKAY Pretty good day today. Simple just the way I like it. Woke up this morning and killed that FLY ! HHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH WHAT NOW ! I TOLD YA ! :D ANYWAY When I was killing it I was another bug FRICK! EWWW ITS GROSS!! I HATE BUGS!! Went to the library with Andrew, Jessica, Mayanne. Sister walked me there but left. We sat there and played well read rather I spy for like over an hour. It was fun. Brings back good childhood memories. Although I wasn't much help LOL. I'm never much help. That's just me. Like I want to help but I don't know what to do and at the same time I'm scared I might cause even more trouble. I want to help parents do the dishes but like kay they yell at me to do it and I do it and then they say I do a bad job of it so they end up doing it themself and the cycle repeats again. I think I should just get myself in trouble just so they let me do the dishes. I feel less guilty. UGGH!! MUST FACE FEARS. NOT. I RATHER NOT. I realized that I don't like changes.... even though not all changes are bad but I'm afraid of changes, I'm a loser. The End.


I can't understand myself sometimes. I'm kinda bipolar... :S UGH KAY NVM that just makes me sound like a creep. KAYY ERRR I DON'T KNOW. This is what I mean, I don't know! I NEVER KNOW. You know what? I should just change my blog title to " I don't know" since I don't know. I don't even know what I don't know.